It’s a situation many of us have been in: you decide to check your online dating account when heading to bed and before you know it, it’s 2AM and you’re considering sending an email to someone new. But would the timing of the email send the wrong message? Here’s how one reader puts things:
Continue Reading →Just a random thought: Sitting here trying to write a message to a girl on a dating site and I’ve realised it’s gone 3 A.M., which is ...
From time to time, I have conversations with people who find something odd when they use niche dating services: many of the people who contact them live very far away. Often, these people wonder if this is some type of scam or, if not that, they wonder if they’re doing something that’s attracting this long-distance attention.
For example, a ...
Continue Reading →A reader recently contacted me with the following questions:
Continue Reading →I had a couple questions I was hoping you could help me with. I am self-employed, make a comfortable living, and I am about 5’8-5’9 in height. I have run into a lot of profiles where the woman has stated that her date needs to have a bachelor’s degree or be taller than I am. Do you think it is still worth it for me to contact them or should I just ...
With some regularity, I hear women complain that men older than their desired age range are contacting them when dating online. According to some of the women who write me, the majority of the men contacting them are outside their desired range and they find this very frustrating.
I wanted to talk a little bit about this, first by looking at an email from a man wondering how he should handle this type of situation:
Continue Reading →Last week I turned 63 and coincidently ...
I’ve talked about this before but in a relatively short period I’ve had several woman contact me with the same question: why do men want to talk to me using our personal email accounts and should I give my email to them?
What I tell my readers is this: I wouldn’t be too worried about moving to personal email accounts. Often the reason people ask this is because they’re embarrassed to log into dating service at locations other than their house ...
Continue Reading →When I talk about what I think makes for a good first email, one thing I’ve argued in the past is that you shouldn’t be talking about yourself in one of these emails. As I’ve said, your profile is the place to talk about yourself, not your first email.
In this article I want to use an example to show why I think talking about yourself is a mistake. Also, I’ve been contacted by some ...
Continue Reading →Recently I wrote an article discussing the topic of a man re-contacting a woman after his first email was unsuccessful (that is, she may have looked at his profile but didn’t respond).
In that article, I discussed how the reader had a theory that contacting later could be beneficial because she may be more able to respond at that time. This wasn’t something that I had considered in my original article on contacting a second time (but an ...
Continue Reading →Recently, a reader wrote to ask questions about re-contacting women at some point after the first email. He also talked a bit about my personal success compared to his and I wanted to address both of these areas in this article.
Here’s part of his email to me:
Continue Reading →I enjoyed reading your article ...
I’ve discussed writing first emails a good deal both on this site and in my free dating guide. One thing I’ve discussed in these areas is that I’ve never liked is the “form” email: where the guy writes one email and then plugs each woman’s information in to make it appear personalized.
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I was recently contacted by a reader asking that I review his first email style and when doing so I was reminded of what I talk about in my guide:
Sometimes the most important thing to do when dating online is to just come off as normal!
Perhaps more than anywhere else in life, normal can be exceptional with online dating. I say this because of the weirdness that can go on with online dating. Having a guy just write you a ...
Continue Reading →A reader writes in the following question:
Continue Reading →Hello, your site has been very helpful, but I still have another question.
I read the article on why woman may not respond to emails, but I have a related issue. What do you think it means if women that I email view my profile soon after, meaning they theoretically have read them, and then do absolutely nothing? This happens a lot to me and is quite frustrating.
Thanks for any ...
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A reader writes in that she was have some success with initial contacts but was struggling when moving beyond that:
Continue Reading →Please address the SECOND email you send. I just began using Match.com and get lots of winks and have had a few first emails. But when they respond, their answers are short and not too informative or don’t seem to offer much to move things forward. More like “what do you want to know” when I haven’t asked the ...
