Height and Education Requirements in Online Dating

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A reader recently contacted me with the following questions:

I had a couple questions I was hoping you could help me with. I am self-employed, make a comfortable living, and I am about 5’8-5’9 in height. I have run into a lot of profiles where the woman has stated that her date needs to have a bachelor’s degree or be taller than I am. Do you think it is still worth it for me to contact them or should I just focus on my time on other women? Also if I did contact one of them should I mention this (maybe make a joke about it?) or just send a normal first email?

My answer to this email was this: I don’t think you should worry about the bachelor’s degree but I do think you should pay attention to the height. I’ll explain why below.

Interpreting Education Requirements in Dating Profile

So should guys not contact a woman if they don’t meet her education requirements? I think so…under the right circumstances.

With the bachelor’s degree, what I believe most women are saying is that she doesn’t want some slacker who lives in his mom’s basement and plays video games all day long. A bachelor’s degree is a way (sometimes a bad way) to measure a person’s commitment and drive. Many businesses do the same exact thing – they don’t know who you are so the first way they measure you is if you have a piece of paper or not.

Education requirements in online dating

However, in most cases, it’s not the piece of paper that’s important. Rather, it’s finding someone she could see being a provider (or in today’s world where both people often work, part of the team that helps provide). If you’re an extremely successful guy who has a two-year degree, I think most woman would find the success attractive regardless of which piece of paper you have.

The one exception I can think to my suggestion is if a woman makes it clear that she’s looking for an intellectual to have deep philosophical discussions with. Not to say that education totally defines intelligence, but I could see instances where a woman would want to date a man who had many years of education for reasons other than personal drive or financial success.

Height Requirements Should Generally Be Observed

In my mind, height tends to be a bit different than education because what the woman is stating as a desire actually is the desire. I do think there are times where you can push it (let’s say she’s looking for 5’10” and you’re 5’9″…well, you might slide by, especially if she’s 5’6″). I wrote an article similar to this topic in some ways that you can find here: Older Med Contacting Younger Women.

As I discuss in that article, I do think there are times you can make an attempt regardless of her requirement but as guys we shouldn’t see it as our right to annoy women by ignoring their requirements altogether.

To sum up my thoughts on height: I would generally not contact women where I am shorter than their height requirement but occasionally would make exceptions if I thought there could be a strong connection.

Joking About Not Meeting Dating Requirements

I recommend against pointing out areas where you don’t perfectly meeting requirement. A lot of people do this and I’ve never seen an email where this came off as attractive (normally it just appeared to add some insecurity to the first email).

I would say this is especially true of the bachelor’s degree because, again, I don’t think it’s really the degree that most women are looking for. Height…well, if you’re 5’8″ but you are contacting a woman who only wants guys over 6’2″ because you think she’s perfect and can’t resist emailing her, I guess in that case you could joke about it because at least then she’d know that you read her profile (and it’s such a long shot already). In this case though, should you really be contacting her?

If it were me, I’d avoid bringing up any areas that are lacking and allow her to make her own choice.

 

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About the Author:

Brad initially struggled with online dating but over time became quite successful using it. He met his wife using online dating and has been giving advice and helping people improve their results since 2007. He has written a Free Online Dating Guide to help others find success with online dating. You can learn more about his personal experience using online dating and running this website here.

Comments

  1. Dixie  April 3, 2012

    The education requirement is a tricky one b/c on the one hand, I want someone respectful, kind, not racist and successful at what he does. I’ve met people w/ Master’s degrees (same with Bachelor’s), who are either unsuccessful or just plain insecure! And some of the guys with a less education than me, fall into 2 categories (pretty cool or unpleasant). So, I agree with your sentiment.

    With height, I used to think it did not matter, but after meeting 2 guys who were wholly disproportionate in their body type and only 5’7″ (I’m 5’5.5″), I am starting to think I want to date someone who is at least 5’9″.

    My question is how do I incorporate that into my profile? I may send you a private message.

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  2. Brad  April 7, 2012

    Hey Dixie – for height, I think listing it in your desired requirements is fine – I don’t think you have to discuss it in your profile text. For education, I think that’s trickier and simply listing you want someone with such-and-such a degree won’t always work (as you point out).

    Using a degree to find a date could leave a lot to be desired. So I think people would be better off to create a profile that emphasizes to find the qualities they appreciate associated with having a degree: intelligence, success and so on. To put it another way: if you found a man who was amazingly successful, ran his own business, was extremely kind and giving, but only had a high school diploma, would you want to date him? I suspect you would! Because of that, I’d create a profile that concentrates on the qualities you are looking for, not what pieces of paper they have earned.

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  3. Dustin  April 11, 2012

    Normally your articles are uplifting in that the information/opinions they provide are empowering. This one was the exact opposite. (I’m not saying you’re wrong, per se. I just don’t know what to do about it.)

    It makes more sense to be picky and more forward about education levels. If a man is continuously turned down for being uneducated, he can go out and get a better education.
    Height does not fit this same category. Judging a man based on his height is like judging a woman on her bust size. (The only difference is one is socially acceptable and the other is not.)

    I understand that height effects a man’s physical attractiveness to a woman (much like her bust size does for men), and that attraction is not consciously decided. I know that some women are attracted to height without even being aware of it.
    I know that arguing against heightism, as it pertains to aesthetic appeal, is futile. I can only imagine the responses I’d get if I contacted women arguing with them on their height preference right in the first message!

    But the advice you’ve given in this article is essentially: Bow to the heightism of women.
    That doesn’t seem right either.
    Can you imagine knowing you’re a really great guybut only being 5’0″?

    I’m 5’6″ and I have encountered height preferences on Match.com where the woman is 4 inches shorter than me, and her minimum height preference is still several inches taller than me. I’ve seen it enough that I decided not to pay for service on that site, largely on this basis.

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  4. Brad  April 12, 2012

    Hey Dustin – perhaps I am getting the height thing wrong but I don’t think most guys are going to have a lot of success when they ignore the height requirements of a woman. I think you make a good point when a woman who is very short still demands a guy that is very tall…but I’m not sure I would go so far as to call that “heightism”. It’s a preference she has.

    I recently had a guy also comment on this article who was very angry about the idea of respecting height requirements. I didn’t approve it because he went off the deep-end (he covered everything from insulting women in general to claiming that all policemen are alcoholics…it was quite the hateful rant!). But one other point he made was to complain about women with “a few extra pounds” on dating websites. If I recall correctly, he felt these women shouldn’t be contacting him while in the same rant complaining that he shouldn’t have to respect height.

    I think there are other men who would share his opinion on the weight issue, where they’re not interested in dating overweight women. So my question would be, is this reasonable? Is it weightism or just a preference? Is it reasonable to have requirements on weight or height? And if not, can there be any physical requirements at all?

    I’m not trying to say you’re wrong Dustin and I think many people (not just women) put too much emphasis on the wrong qualities. However, I do think we need to make an effort to respect each others’ requirements. Just as I discussed in my topic on age, I don’t think this means “never contact them if you’re not exactly perfect”. But I do believe we need to consider what the other person states they want just as we want other people to respect what we state we desire.

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    • Dustin  April 19, 2012

      Brad, I appreciate the time you are taking to discuss this! That being said, I still disagree with your opinion on [some] women’s attitudes about men’s height.

      When all is said and done, heightism and weightism (while both having some level of being “shallow”) do not belong in the same category.
      Weight is based on choices, and it relates to health (and lifespan). Even if bodyfat increased attractiveness, being overweight is still unhealthy. Furthermore, being overweight often indicates a lack of self-control.
      Height can only be controlled via surgery. That is why I made an analogy to a man’s attraction to a woman’s bust size in my first post.
      If I recall correctly, in your articles on weight, you advise people to lose weight because it will help their chances. The fact that you can’t do something analogous about height shows how weightism and heightism are different.

      I know that a woman’s height preference isn’t a choice that she made. (They don’t sit around and consciously decide that shorter men are less attractive, or in some cases, more attractive.) But at the same time, attitudes towards “isms” can change.

      When I saw the title of this article, I was glad you were addressing height, and expecting to see you giving advice to women not to judge a man based on his height. I was actually taken aback with what I’ve found.
      Let me be clear: I do not have a problem with your advice to shorter men to be careful about messaging women with a height preference. I’ve been following that advice already. (And I certainly agree with being honest on my own profile.)
      My main problem with your article (and the responses you’re making) is that you have an enabling attitude about height. eHarmony apparently does too, based on your response to someone else. That doesn’t make an enabling attitude a good one, it merely shows that it’s prevalent.
      You also have an enabling attitude about weight, but as I explained above, that actually makes [at least some] sense. Your article about age difference (ageism?) makes sense too, because age affects maturity levels which severely impact romantic relationships.
      Height preference is probably most akin to skin color preference. A change in attitude can change the preference.

      Final thoughts: A black man should not wish to be white in order to avoid racism. A woman should not wish to be a man to avoid sexism. (Nor should a man wish to be a woman to avoid anti-male sexism.) It’s the “isms” that are the problem. Likewise, I do not want to be taller. I like my height (and who I am as a person). I want to end the “ism” using ideas like I have been expressing throughout this discussion (i.e. changing attitudes).

    • Brad  April 20, 2012

      Hey Dustin – it sounds like you’re saying that physical desires are okay as long as those desires are something the other person can control. Although you make an exception of age because of maturity. Do I have that correct?

      I think you make well thought-out arguments (even when I don’t agree with them) but I just can’t bring myself to see a woman’s desire on height as something comparable to racism.

      I think there are two ways of looking at this issue:
      1. How people should respond to requirements they don’t meet
      2. Convincing people to have more accepting requirements

      I feel like in this article I was discussing #1 where you had hoped I would discuss #2, and I get that. I do think that people should be more accepting and if you’re dealing with women who are 2″ shorter than you but only want to date men who are 2″ taller than you, I’d love to see that change. The fact that you were already following the advice I layout shows that while you would love to change #2, you still know there is value in what #1 discusses.

      That being said, I don’t see physical desires as an evil thing. I think they can be unreasonable, sure, but not anything akin to racism in my mind. I actually think having physical requirements/desires is a fine thing when we date. I believe you should want to date someone you are attracted to. Sometimes I don’t agree with those requirements and often I think some requirements are silly and they can make life difficult…however, to each their own. I’ve tried to convince plenty of people to have less restrictive requirements but at the end of the day when I fail to convince them, I don’t see their requirements as “wrong”. Unhelpful, sure. Wrong? I don’t see it that way. I think this is where we disagree (and correct me if I’m wrong).

      All that being said, I would totally be up for writing an article someday to try to address being unreasonable in height requirements (and again, where we may differ is where the “reasonable” line would be drawn). I think what you may have interpreted from this article was that because I was addressing issue #1, that I didn’t see any problems with #2 and that’s not the case.

  5. Mr 5'4"  April 14, 2012

    Brad, dead wrong on the height thing. How tall are you? Are you a social scientist who’s conducted peer-reviewed empirical research into online dating and height? Are you a woman? Are you many women?

    No, no, and no are the answers to those questions. So how are you qualified to write about this topic? You’re not.

    As a 5’4″, mid 40’s single male who’s done quite a bit of the online personals thing, let me set you straight.

    First: THEORY

    What people write in their profile aren’t “desires.” They are intellectualized attempts to put into concrete terms what they think they will desire in others. You don’t know if you desire another until you encounter them.

    Also, what many people write–and I’ve read this and heard this over and over from people, and esp. from women–is that they write their profile by defining their IDEAL mate. I’ve heard “dating experts” tell people that that’s how they should write their profile. A quite bankrupt approach-it makes one focus on “ideal” when ideal is extremely rare rather than focusing on “acceptable.” People spend years and tons of money doing online dating trying to find their “ideal” while passing up many good people they would like, love, lust for, and be happy with. Writing to ID the “ideal” also makes good people who would be a good fit while not “ideal” in every way not contact you; they think the person wouldn’t be interested in them, when in fact it might just mean they aren’t “ideal.”

    Also, people fill in those fields because they are required to, or think they are required to, and they don’t necessarily give it much thought. I’ve been told this by many people–women mostly–and by therapists who talk about what they hear from their clients.Those info people put in those fields are not to be taken as seriosuly as you seem to think.

    Second: Experience of a very short man.

    At 5’4″, 90% of women on Match and other dating sites list a height range for which I am too short. I read a study about this, did some research or my own, and found similar results.

    But I have women who initiate contact with me all the time who list a height range for which I am “too short.” These women are of all heights. On one particular day, I had two women write me. One was 5’11; the other was 5’10. Both listed 5’10 as the minimum height they were looking for, yet they wrote this 5’4″ guy. Ms. 5’11 was a minor league model in a specialized field–beautiful, thin, great figure, very intelligent, Ivy-educated; in her mid-late 30s. I was 41 at the time. We exchanged a few messages, but that was all. Ms. 5’10 was a pretty, thin blonde, in great shape; also very intelligent, professional, and well-educated. A psychologist. We dated for about 5 months.

    Most women who contact me are both taller than I am and list a height range where I’m shorter than the minimum they list. Over the many years, it’s happened 100s of times–positive message contact, not actual dates, I estimate.

    I also contact women who are taller than me and who list a height range that I’m “too short” for all the time. Height is irrelevant to me. I list no height range on my profile. It’s a superficial trait that plays no functional role in relating to another person. After several women I contacted said they would’ve contacted me but they figured I wouldn’t have been interested given that they were taller than me, I added a disclaimer to my profile to let taller women know I don’t care what height they are.

    I know my height does play a role in my experience, and it never helps. I sometimes have women tell me I’m too short; I’ve even had this happen after corresponding with a few for a while. I don’t know how much of a factor my height is, or most times when it is an issue for a woman I contact since most often we’re not given a concrete reason–or given a response at all–when one we’ve contacted isn’t interested. It has a negative effect, but I’ll never know how mcuh of one, and I’ve never had someone chide me for not “respecting” what they listed as their minimum height.

    I don’t chase taller women. But my last 4 girlfriends (not all from online) were all taller than me–5’9, 5’6, 5’10, and 5’7

    It drives short men crazy when very short women seem to seek tall men; many short men think very short women seek tall men in particular. Maybe they do, maybe we just notice it more.

    I’m considered somewhat handsome–my face is said to be a “7,” and I’m on the low side of average weight and my body (height aside) is average (not built, not muscular, not toned, not athletic, etc.) , so I’m not making up for my shortness by being otherwise very good-looking.

    I am extremely intelligent per my test scores (genius-level), what everyone says about me, and my academic success, etc. and ma very intellectual, so that gives me a big advantage with highly intelligent, intellectual women–the kind I want anyways.

    I let height influence my decision to contact or not contact a woman under only a few conditions:

    1. If she refers to wanting someone tall or makes a big deal about height in her written words, that will make me much less likely to contact her if I don’t meet what she lists or states. It’s very easy to unthinkingly fill in the height fields with your “ideal” range, and it doesn’t necessarily mean much as my experience has shown. To write in prose that you seek certain heights or express a height preference is a much more personal, deliberate, serious act of expressing one’s interests.

    2. If the woman is very tall (5’9+) AND she lists a tall minimum height for the guys she’s seeking, then I’m less likely to write, but it still happens. I probably wouldn’t have contacted Ms. 5’11 and Ms. 5’10 given their heights and that they listed 5’10 as the minimum height they sought. Were they shorter, I’d figure my odds would be better, and had they listed shorter minimum heights I’d figure the same. But since both were very tall and seeming to be definitely looking for “tall,” I would’ve figured it was a longshot with both. But I would have been wrong, since both wrote me. All it takes is writing a message. What’s to lose?

    It’s a mistake to read too much into what people put in the checkboxes and fields on personal profiles. Therapists tell me that many people go online without putting a lot of thought into the whole thing, might not be very serious about it, and aren’t as superficial as their profiles make them seem.

    To the person who posed the original question: I’d kill to be able to be able to truly claim to be 5’8″ or 5’9″ on my profile. I know I miss out on many women I’m interested in (with as little as I have to go on from their online profile), but I’m not about to ensure that I miss out on good women by not even pursuing them in the first place. I get dates with beautiful women, women who are much taller, women who say they only want much taller than me, and some who fit all 3 of those categories. Gretzky said it: You miss 100% of shots you don’t take.

    At your height, only a very small percentage of women will totally write you off based on that statistic alone. Look at the height ranges and other fields as “wish lists” of ideal traits rather than well-considered, ingrained, meaningful statements. And why would you listen to Brad? He obviously is not a deep thinker and is clearly not well-informed about this.

    Brad: Please don’t opine about what you do not know. It’s silly. Yes, I do have a much success when I ignore what women put in those fields. It has nothing to do with respect. If I followed your suggestion, and if many of the women who’ve contacted me abided by the height ranges they list, I wouldn’t have met 80% of the women I’ve met via online dating.

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  6. Brad  April 14, 2012

    Hey Mr 5’4″ – No, I’m not a woman (or many women!) and I’m 6′ so I definitely have less experience dealing with this as a guy. However, since I’ve been running this website for many years, one of the biggest complaints I hear from women is that men don’t respect what they list in their profile…and height is a big one.

    Also, the #1 thing men lie about in their profiles is height and I’ve had lots of women confirm they don’t like that. The #1 thing women lie about is weight and I’ve had lots of men confirm they don’t like that. So at least some people out there care. I guess my question to you would be, should women ignore the weight requirement you list? What about age requirements? If women did the majority of the contacting on dating sites and you were only ever contacted by women 20 years older than your listed requirement, would it bother you? Maybe what you list really doesn’t matter to you, but it seems to matter to a lot of people.

    The Gretzky quote is a good one however it assumes you’re the only person in the transaction and you’re not. There are a lot of women who have been driven away from online dating because they are contacted by hundreds of men who ignore their requirements (and I don’t believe the women who have contacted me are the only ones who fit this category).

    As for not offering an opinion on what I don’t “know”, if I did that I would write hardly any articles at all! Relationships and dating aren’t math problems with a right answer and a wrong answer and I believe even the greatest giver of dating advice has to do a lot of educated guessing. My goal is to be helpful and offer an opinion but I always encourage people to think for themselves! I don’t think it’s fair to say that if I’m not a woman then I can’t talk on the subject or that I would need to be a scientist with a peer-reviewed paper to give my opinion on whether we should respect someone’s listed requirements. I also think if I held the opposite opinion, you wouldn’t expect any of those things from me and would simply agree with me.

    Finally, for a little piece of evidence that isn’t my opinion: eHarmony, a huge dating service that has millions of women’s opinions, will only match women with men who are at least as tall as they are. This article from eHarmony’s website says that this is “because so many women complain if they’re set up with shorter men”. Does this mean as a guy on Match.com you should never contact a taller woman? No, I’m definitely not saying that. But I do think we should at least consider her requirements and I think there is evidence to show that height, weight and age are all areas that are more than just a “checkbox” that we can ignore as we please.

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    • Scooter  August 26, 2015

      Brad, if the height “preference” were actually a preference, this wouldn’t be such an issue. However, for most women, it’s not just a preference, it’s a requirement. And for short men who are analytical, the question of “why” becomes a paramount quest in their lives. The answers are ugly.
      There is no question that some of the “preference” is innate, however, the facts point towards societally driven ostracization and discrimination of short men. Evidence is found in media of all types, and in social situations spanning from weddings to dinner gatherings. You seem like a reasonable fellow, so I won’t bombard you with a bunch of links, but I suspect that you already know short men are discriminated against and indeed, marginalized, in other aspects of society that lie outside of dating.
      A significant example regards pay; taller men make more money per inch of height when other factors are controlled for, and of course have better chances of moving up the ranks. Another example is found in the inherent illogical definition of the “Napoleon Complex”. There is no genetic link between stature and disposition. (Keep in mind that Napoleon wasn’t even short for his time) It’s simple: why do a-hole short men get stigmatized with a special hate phrase, while a-hole taller men, do not? Why do shorter men who display aspiration get labeled as “overcompensating” so readily, while taller men are “ambitious”? For me, this phenomenon of discrimination bears similarity to how men of color were treated in this country, back in the 50s. And for those about to blow their tops.. I am not making a 1-to-1 comparison. I’m just noting the parallels, because in both cases, the minority is seen as a lesser, for flawed reasons. It’s just that short men do not have a tragic history to use as a platform for social justice. Nevertheless, the discrimination against short men is real, and socially ACCEPTABLE in our society.
      Height should be a neutral immutable trait. It’s not a detriment to be 5’4 (or whatever arbitrary short height). Weight on the other hand, is a different story. It is not immutable, nor is it usually neutral with regards to fitness and health.
      But circling back around: Brad, don’t you think all of this spills over into the dating scene? Don’t you suspect there are many women who WOULD consider dating a shorter man, if she did not have to deal with the ridicule that occurs overtly and subtly, in a number of settings? I do, because from my anecdotal experience, and that of other short men I have spoken with, this is a very saddening and real phenomenon. You are a 6’ man, and I suspect you have no idea what it’s like to finally get a date, only to be scared of those scenarios. “Will her parents and friends accept me?” “Will she be able to hold up mentally?” “What will happen if some other charming fellow who is taller comes to sweep her away..” ( Although I admit, this last fear is applicable to anyone who is looking for that special someone)
      You know what’s worse? Even if I date a women who is shorter than me (and I am 5’5, so it’s not impossible), those fears still hold true, because for women height = status, and once again, this is the case mostly due to heavy social engineering/indoctrination. No, not all women are as susceptible to this pressure, or care too much about height. But for the majority, it is the #1 consideration.
      Where am I going with this, now? Well Brad, I ask you to help us. I believe you know that the discrimination is wrong, and I am sure you comprehend that extended loneliness is awful. It can even kill people sooner due to physiological factors (e.g. lowered immunity). Short men aren’t born with bad attitudes; some are just a-holes regardless of height, but others become a-holes due to lifelong trauma. And many are good-hearted, upbeat men who persevere despite it. I hope you find what I say to be logical, and you “feel” its truth.
      I am in my early 40s, and newly divorced, with no kids or complications. The dating scene is brutal; women in my age range are no different, despite having more baggage. And much like Mr. 5’4 above, I am very well educated and yadda yadda yadda. For the sake of veracity, I’ll even take it one step further, and offer send you my profile and stats, because I know that such claims on the internet are a dime-a-dozen. That’s if you care.
      Thank you so much for listening. I am willing to discuss in a controlled, friendly manner. I hope you do decide to help short men out.

  7. moe  April 20, 2012

    OKay, Mr. 5’4 = Mr. Egoistic. Who calls themselves a genuis and rants about the hot dates he went on despite being 5’4? ANYWAYS

    That said height doesnt and shouldnt really matter, I think what women want are men who are respectful of such requirements as closer age ranges, similar values, religion, etc. Height and weight are less important and those who are rigid about those two requirements online should be immediately ignored. For example if I got contacted by a guy who is shorter or much taller than my preference, but we have similar values, education level, religion, political views, I would completely disregard his height BECAUSE hes definitely caught my attention.

    And thats why I think height requirements should be thrown out the window, they limit everyones dating pool.

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    • Hazel  September 15, 2014

      Haha, i am sorry, but just reading the mini debate from Mr. 5’4 is ridiculous. However, i can sense the frustration he deals with since he is literally a short man (unless he is lieing about his height). And dating has always been, and forever will be a subject that has no true professional people. So Mr. Brad does not need certifications just to express his opinions how we can all date better. I think he has a great approach so far.

      I am a woman, (short 5’1″) and i do not think having a height/weight/race requirement is wrong. Can it be unrealistic, superficial, and narrows down the dating pool extremely? Definitely, but still, people cannot help what they are attracted too, that is why there is a preferences for a reason. If a short woman wants a taller man, then let her have one. If a man wants bigger boobs or ass, let him have it. If both genders have a education requirement, then let them both have it. Do these things defines a quality of a person? Of course not! But sadly, just like Mr. Brad points out, some people make these preferences highly valued and they do expect from others to respect that on a dating site. Nobody wants a bunch of unwanted emails, that is against their values, regardless if your a man/woman.

      But I do find it funny how Mr 5’4 assumes that someone who is overweight is consider lack of “self control” but yet in your responses, bragging about your beautiful dates, your IQ, etc. your tone shows me that you may have the “napoleon complex”. See? Don’t you hate it when people just ASSUME what you may be based on what you look like?

  8. Lauren  December 30, 2012

    I’ll have to say that height and education are definetely deal breakers for me. And ill admit, when I go through a mans profile if they are not at least 5’10 and.dont have at least a bachelors degree i move on. I am only 5’4″ but i love my heels and not about to give those up so a man could be taller than me. And it does creep my out if im taller, because in my head, a mans a real man if hes taller that his lady, shows he will be able to protect and manly. Now i do have a bachelors degree and i expect a man to have at least the same education. That shows dedication, goals, determination, etc. Now if they own their business or are in the military that is an exception because it shows the same thing. I know probably kinda stupid but you know, i am picky, i know what I want and i wont settle. My list is long, and i know that is probably why Im still single…but id rather be single and happy then miserable in a relationship because i settled.

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  9. jo  September 8, 2013

    I am 5’4″ so few men are shorter than me anyway. However men need to understand that for any woman being with a shorter man can make them feel unfeminine. If you contact a woman who wants a taller man and she rejects you because of your height that IS fair game. End of story.

    As for education I would say that partly depends upon your age. I am in my fifties and in my generation less than 10% went to uni. Now it’s nearly 50%. If I were younger I would insist on it, but now I just sort the wheat from the chaff by how they write their first message!

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  10. Susan  November 17, 2014

    My height requirement is there because *I* am 6’1″ and I don’t really want to be dating a guy shorter than 5’10”. I have had a log term relationship with someone 6 inches shorter, but it so clearly made him uncomfortable that I am trying to avoid that in the future.

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  11. Mozzo  December 25, 2015

    It gets completely ridiculous when a 5’3″ woman lists “NO guys shorter than 6’3!” Then shuts down a guy that is 6’1″ because he didn’t meet her height requirement.

    Guess women need protection from bears? Alligators? If you are really going to blame this on evolution, then would it be wrong fora man to want to hook up with as many women possible hoping to pass his genes. Doesn’t that sound ridiculous in the 21st century?

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  12. Lisa  April 11, 2016

    My answer to both of these is no. But if you want to go ahead but don’t get upset if she does not respond. My inbox was forever clogged with men who clearly had not read my profile and I found that to be frustrating. It was you immediately saying to me that what I wanted did not matter it was really about how you thought we were a great match. That’s bad. Height is an issue for women. Guys if you don’t like that I understand but emailing women who prefer tall men in an attempt to change that is a waste of your time, focus on those that are interested. The issue is women get SO many emails and when men that are so far removed from what she is looking for email her it means she loses time or misses the guys who are. So in the end you are screwing each other guys. Just email the women looking for you and you all will have a better chance of getting responses because we won’t be spending Days digging through emails.

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  13. Maggie  March 6, 2017

    Don’t shoot the messenger. Brad is correct. Please respect a woman’s height preferences. You are only going to turn her off when you show up even an inch or 2 shorter than you claim. Mom taught us to know our math. There is no personality trait in the world that is going to make up for it.

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