It’s a situation many of us have been in: you decide to check your online dating account when heading to bed and before you know it, it’s 2AM and you’re considering sending an email to someone new. But would the timing of the email send the wrong message? Here’s how one reader puts things:
Just a random thought: Sitting here trying to write a message to a girl on a dating site and I’ve realised it’s gone 3 A.M., which is a good indicator that I should wait before sending the message.
Not sure it’s enough for an article on it’s own, but I’m am sure there are guys out there who don’t realise that sending messages at some ungodly hour of the morning makes you look a little desperate, or like a really awkward communicator, or even like an unemployed bum (I’m only the first two, thankfully).
On the other hand, adding another “Don’t do this” rule to an already fairly large list of rules will probably just add another level of panic to those most in need of the advice (“Oh god, is there anything I’ve forgotten!? Which of these 150 rules have I missed?!”). Maybe you could do an article on how much dating advice is too much?
Would You Email Someone at 3AM?
So for me, when I was dating online and was considering sending someone an email at 3AM, I would have waited. Primarily because I was selling myself as a successful business professional…which I was but as this reader points out, emails at 3AM might suggest something different.
What about you? Do you think this is over-thinking things? Any women out there have thoughts on this? Does the time you receive an email affect you impression of the man in any way or should guys stop obsessing about every little detail and just contact you? I’m definitely a better-safe-than-sorry type of guy so I’d wait until the next day but I’d love to hear what others think on this.
So How Much Dating Advice is Too Much?
As for my reader’s question on how much advice is too much, I honestly think that’s a personal decision. I’m not sure I can say, “You need to be prepared for all these areas and then you’ll be fine”. Some people love to read every opinion before moving forward and find it quite helpful. Other people can read the same advice and stress themselves out to the point that all that advice ends up being counter-productive!
I will say this though: there appear to be two main areas where I see people struggle the most and perhaps if you’re looking to limit how much advice you’re trying to remember, it could be in these areas:
- Creating Your Profile - advice around having a strong profile is important. The good news here is that if you create a solid profile, you can generally stop worrying about this advice. You can see my thoughts in this area in my article on step-by-step dating profile creation tips.
- First Impressions - this is actually split into two areas: writing your first email and meeting on the first date. In both cases, it’s all about putting your best foot forward.
So if you’re overwhelmed by all the online dating advice out there, I’d concentrate on those areas and as you become more comfortable with them, I’d begin to consider other advice again.
If you’re looking for a more comprehensive list of the areas I consider important, you can see my post on an online dating checklist. Again, though, I do think the amount of advice you need to take will be something you need to decide for yourself. I do think over time that even lists that feel long can become manageable as you gain more experience dating online.