So, you’ve been talking to someone online for a while now, and you feel like you could have real chemistry. You like what you see in his profile picture, you’re
intrigued by his messages and it seems you may share similar interests.
You’re both on an online dating site, so the likelihood is, you’re both looking to meet someone; surely the logical next step is to meet this person.
Asking to meet
Perhaps he hasn’t popped the “shall we meet?” question yet and, while it might feel nice to be asked, ladies, this is the 21st century. The dating rules have changed, and it’s no problem for you to make the first move.
Men love a woman who is confident in herself and knows what she wants. By all means, drop as many hints as you like, but if he’s just not interpreting your “I need to see you to believe it” and “Oh, I’ve always wanted to do that,” you should simply ask to meet him.
If you don’t feel confident enough to ask him outright, consider phrasing it as a suggestion, for example, “we should meet up soon” or “maybe we should try out that new ice-cream place one night next week”. By putting a loose schedule on a potential date, it will show your man you’re keen to meet up sooner rather than later, which should get the romance ball rolling.
If he declines your request
You’ve hit it off online and frequently chat about your interests, hopes, dreams and aspirations; you’re certain you’re onto something amazing here, but as fabulous, endearing and gorgeous as you are, unfortunately the other person won’t always feel the same way. Whether he’s got a load of excuses lined up or just isn’t interested, try not to feel too disheartened if he declines or ignores your suggestion.
Excuses, in particular, can be frustrating. He might claim he is very busy at work or that he has other commitments that he needs to attend to. But be conscious of the fact that if he’s as interested in you as you are in him, he will make an effort to see you and will name a day before too long.
What to do next
If he continually makes excuses, make it clear that the ball is firmly planted in his court. But, don’t wait for him. If you feel you have a genuine reason to be suspicious of his constant knock backs, make it clear that you’ve tried your best but suspect he isn’t ready to meet anyone, and embark on a search for a man who realises than honesty is the best policy and will treat you well.
It can be upsetting when you feel rejected by someone you’ve been growing ever closer to, but, don’t let his “no, thank you” knock your confidence. Respect his honesty; wish him the best of luck and move on, there are plenty more people online who are much more open to connecting with you face to face, and they’re just a click away.
To read more first date advice, visit match.com’s new advice site.