Online Dating Blog

Don’t do this! I was talking about online dating experiences the other day and woman was describing her most recent date. She was explaining why she had no intention of having another date with the man she had met the night before. There were several issues she had taken with the date itself but as we talked I get the feeling this man had ruined his chances in the first few moments of the date. Simply said, he was dressed far too casually.

Having talked to many women regarding first dates, one thing seems clear to me: while they never come out and say it in these words, most women are looking for a man to show them respect. While we’ve move far beyond the days of men laying their cloaks on the ground, the general concepts still exist today. Guys, it’s very important that you respect your dates! I’ve spoken with women where everything about the date went great except one area where they felt there was a lack of respect…and they never dated the man again. Even though the women you date may not be in an elegant dress, you can be confident that she took time to look nice for you on your date. If she arrives on the date after all her preparation only to see you in your sweats, she is going to:

1. She’s going to think you don’t look very nice which will lead her to…
2. Feel like you’re not taking the date with her seriously which will in turn…
3. Cause her to feel that you don’t respect her or the time she’s given up to meet you

Sadly, I doubt the men out there who are wearing sweat pants on first dates are looking for advice. If they are reading advice, mine or any other, I can’t understand how they are making it out of the house dressed this way. Are there women out there who are not bothered when their date wears sweat pants or anything else that might be considered lacking respect in regard to dating her?

I’ve talked throughout this blog and my online dating guide how I don’t believe it’s our place to “fix” our dates; we shouldn’t be going out of our way to tell the people we meet what they’ve done wrong. What was wrong for you may be great for the next person they meet and there’s no good reason to berate someone. However, the guy that’s wearing sweats on a first date may be the exception. This act suggests that he is out of touch with online dating etiquette and doesn’t even realize it. In this case, it might be kinder to bring to his attention (in a gentle way), how much he is hurting his chances before the first words are even exchanged. The fact that he’s arrived dressed this way suggests he might be in need of some dating advice but obviously isn’t looking for it.