Online Dating Blog

As you date online, refreshing your dating profile from time to time is often a very good idea. This can be a good rule in general but there are some cases where doing so can be very helpful.

Benefits of Updating Your Dating Profile

There are several benefits to refreshing your dating profile. The first reason, which is often over-looked, is that as you date online you should begin to better recognize exactly what you’re looking for in a partner. For me, when I first started dating online I thought I had very few requirements. However, the longer I dated online the more requirements I realized I actually had. Had I chose to not refresh my dating profile, I would not have represented myself best and might have even ended up wasting time meeting women who weren’t what I was looking for.

Breathe New Life into a Profile
The second reason to update your dating profile is that a refreshed profile can be like having a brand new profile. There is a trick to this, though: you have to refresh your photos in addition to your text of your profile in this case.

Why does this work? Most people are very visual and as people browse profiles, they begin to ignore people they’ve looked at in the past. If you’ve been on a dating site for several months, updating your profile text and photos can introduce a situation where people begin to review your profile again where they wouldn’t have otherwise. It’s important that you update your text as well, hopefully to better describe yourself and refine what you’re looking for based on your dating experiences. Assuming they read your profile previously and were uninterested, if you leave the text the same then they will likely be uninterested once again.

Big Mistakes in Your Profile
As you read more online dating advice, you may realize that you have made some mistakes in your profile. One reader wrote in and asked me if he should delete his profile and create a brand new one because of this. I would argue that, no, it is not necessary to create a new profile. A simple update of your profile photos and text acts as a “clean slate” for most situations.

More Effective for Women?
I would argue that updating photos is a particularly effective step for women to take if they’ve been dating online for a long time and have started to receive fewer contacts. This is because men are particularly visually oriented when it comes to viewing profiles. Guys can still benefit from updating their photos but often doing so is less effective, especially for those men who do the majority of the initial contacts (which is most of us). Guys could update their profile text and photos and then re-contact women who never responded to their first attempt but odds of this being successful is likely to be hit or miss.

What About My User Name?
Some people argue that your user name on a dating service is very important. I disagree. Of all the things that people seem to ignore the most on dating services it is the user name. Many services don’t even emphasize the user name, instead emphasizing the title of your profile. Other services simply assign you a numeric value for a user name and they remain successful. I would suggest that you not see your user name a hindrance when updating your profile.

What Should I Include in Updates to My Profile?

First, the point of updating your profile should be to better represent yourself and also to improve the odds of people contacting you or responding. Many people only concern themselves with the second part, only being worried about if the change will be improve their number of contacts. While improving your number of contacts is a good idea, improving the quality of your contacts should also be taken into account.

Previously, I’ve written an in-depth article that was a step-by-step guide on creating your dating profile. This guide should be helpful for those thinking of updating their profiles as well. In this article, I outline the areas you should be concerned with to better reflect who you are.

Aside from what is included in this article, also updating the “basic” information of your profile is a good idea. This would include the non-critical items such as your favorite music or movies and so on: areas that help describe you but that would not really define who you are as a person or what you are looking for in someone else.

Tips on Updating Your Dating Profile Photos
In my opinion this is one area where some people simply don’t put enough emphasis. Some singles treat their photos almost as if they don’t matter: they take a photo with a previous boyfriend or girlfriend taken at a bar and then just crop the photo down to themselves. These photos often do a poor job of properly reflecting the person and their success can suffer because of it.

I think the best step you can take to having great photos is simple: take your photos seriously. Don’t be desperate to get new photos online, be intentional about getting great photos online. Some ideas for better photos include:

• Be willing to take photos with the intent for them to be used online. This means not holding a camera away from your body achieving the classic “myspace” look. You’ll want to have a friend or family member assist you with taking the photo.
• If you have a friend who takes photos either professionally or as a hobby, try to have them help you. There are many nuances to photography that many of us are unaware of when taking photos but that we are still able recognize when we see good photos.
• You’ll want clear photos with good lighting. Generally it’s best to have your photos taken outdoors but if you do stay inside make sure there is very good lighting, preferably window lighting.
• As I discuss in my online dating guide, there are services which offer professional photography for online dating. Services like these can be pricey but professional photos can be very effective.
• If you have an OKCupid account, be sure to take advantage of their My Best Face service that has other members help you choose the best photo (it’s free).