Online Dating Blog

Recently, when a friend needed photos for his online dating profile, it was a good opportunity for my wife (who is a professional photographer) to get some portrait shots while helping a friend at the same time. The shoot went well and our friend genuinely liked the photos and had them up on his profile very quickly. A few weeks later, I mentioned that perhaps she could offer this service in addition to her other photography services. Interested to see if other services like this already existed, I looked around for “online dating profile photography” sites and found a rather large one: LookBetterOnline.com

When I was dating online, most photos start to look the same after about two minutes of viewing and I guess that is part of the problem. A large majority of the photos seem to fall into one of three categories:

1. Photos people take of themselves which generally don’t turn out very well
2. Photos taken for other purposes (out with friends, at a wedding, etc) where they’ve cropped just themselves out
3. Photos taken specifically for their online dating profile, perhaps by friends or family

LookBetterOnline.com offers a fourth option to this where you can have a professional photo for your profile. Now, right off the bat I’ll say this: $150 seems does bit pricey for the service. However, being married to a professional photographer I can tell you that these prices are reasonable. That doesn’t mean that the price for the service is cheap, just that it is fair. The site offers these reasons for using their service:

Then your potential matches will…

• Be drawn to your photo as though it’s the only one on the page.
• Be engaged by your personal ad so they read it all!
• Recognize that you are the person they have been searching for.
• Email you and ask to meet you!

When I was single, if a service could deliver on all of those promises, I would have gladly paid what they are asking for (because it is cheap if it is true). The truth is, if I could guarantee more success dating online for $150 I think many people would take me up on that offer. None of us want to waste our time or spend years dating online when we could find someone in months. I know that the one time fee will hurt but in the long run it could save you quite a bit of money.

I am sure their service offers value and has led to people’s success dating online. One opinion I held at one time was “I’m not sure I would personally want to date people who were only interested in me after I had a professional photo on my profile” but that’s the wrong way to look at things. Online dating profiles are always being judged against their competition and you want to stand out. It isn’t that someone will only date you because you had a professional photo, it is often more because your photo will be leaps and bounds beyond the photos of your competition. You want to stand out! This should not be a judgment of how other singles respond to your profile! Just recognize that you need to be recognized as different and that this is one of the best ways to accomplish that.

A few general thoughts on online dating profile photos:

• I never contacted someone who had a great photo attached to a horrible profile. I think I may have been the exception here and have heard that as high as 75% of singles online say that the profile photo is the biggest contributor to whether or not they will contact that person.
• I married a woman who had no photo at all on her dating profile and this is why I encourage everyone to not only judge by the profile photo (or the absence of one). You can find great matches even when they don’t have photos if you will put the time in.
• Obviously, you should have a photo on your dating profile if possible. The exception is women who want to avoid having men contact them based off of their picture instead of their profile. I still think as a woman it is better to have to filter a ton of emails than receive fewer just because you don’t want men to contact you based on your attractiveness. In my opinion, guys should always provide a picture when able.
• An exception: better no photo than an unflattering one. Get some honest friends to look at your pictures! If they are just dying to take pictures of you after they look at your current photos, you might have an issue. In this type of situation, LookBetterOnline.com is even more worth it.
• If you don’t post a photo and someone contacts you and asks for a photo immediately, don’t be offended by this (i.e., they might not only be concerned with looks). I was lied to on a few occasions before some dates and became more aggressive with trying to get photos up-front. Remember: your potential dates may have dealt with some liars. Even if you are not one, you’re under suspicion.

Update 6/13/2010: I originally wrote this article back in 2007. Three years later, I couldn’t disagree more with my original thoughts on dating profile photos and have updated this article to reflect that. As I have worked with singles over the last 3 years I have realized how very important dating profile are.