Online Dating Blog

Is eHarmony Worth the Price?

Posted by:

This is a common question because the cost of eHarmony is expensive, even compared to other online dating service prices. My opinion is that as long as you are getting a reasonable number of matches, eHarmony is worth the price.

(Learn more: see my eHarmony Review for more details on this service)

As I will present here, I think too many people look at the price tag of eHarmony as money they don’t have to spend. Many wrongly believe that the other ways they are meeting people are costing them no money. I think this is unfortunate as these people will continue to pursue previously unsuccessful methods of meeting people while for a relatively small price tag they could be meeting the person who is right now waiting for them online.

The following charts shows very basic information on common ways to try to meet singles:

How People Meet and Costs Meeting This Way
MethodEst. Cost per WeekOdds of Getting a DateOdds You'll Match Well
Staying at Home$0None to Lown/a
Going to the bar once a week$10*Moderately good, depending on personalityNot that great but occasionally people get lucky
Church or Temple or Mosque$0Moderately good but lowers the longer you have been attending (unless frequently gaining new membership)Good odds considering you'll already share some core beliefs
Through Friends$0GoodLow**
Meetup.com Singles Group$10Moderate to very goodFairly good if you're selective
eHarmony$9.98***Very good oddsVery good odds
*Assuming you are very frugal with your money
**If your friends are like mine, anyway
***Assuming you are using the 3 month plan which is a total of $119.85

You Might Be Spending More and Getting Less

I think I’m being very fair in my chart above. Whenever I go out with friends to a bar, I can’t remember a time where I spent as little as $10. Still, to try and be fair I’m assuming my readers are able to spend this small of an amount. Still, even if you were able to spend as small an amount as eHarmony would cost you, what about how well you get along with someone? At a bar, you’re gambling with any relationship you’ll find. Not only that, while at eHarmony you can know who is looking for a serious relationship, at the bar it won’t be nearly so clear.

You might be saying, “But what about other places aside from the bar? Having my friends set me up is free!” That’s true, it is free to have your friends match you up with someone but most of the time that doesn’t seem to work out all that well. Not only that, your friends are only going to know so many single people they can match you up with…they’ll evenutally run out!

How Much Time Are You Getting Out of Your Method to Meet People?

Also, consider this: if you go to the bar to meet people, or church or even a meetup group, how many hours a week are you able to actively try to find a relationship? Three hours? Four? At eHarmony you’ll be able to be much more active in your attempts to meet people. If you live in a well populated area, you may have the opportunity to speak to new people every day not just a few hours one day a week. Now you could argue that you could go to the bar or a singles group more often than once a week but now the original argument that eHarmony is too expensive has been shot down! You’re spending more that you would at eHarmony if you go out more than once unless someone is buying the drinks for you!

Reasons eHarmony is a Poor Choice for Some

Still, eHarmony won’t work for everyone. This service will not be a good choice if you live in a low population area and you want to limit your matches to within 30 miles of yourself. I had this happen to me when I lived in the country and after a month or two I just wasn’t getting enough matches any longer. This is when I tried Match.com and the ability to contact whoever I wanted worked much better in my case. Again, this option was still cheaper than going to the bar and was providing me with more opportunity to meeting other singles.

 

Overall, eHarmony is actually a great choice for meeting singles and when you break the numbers down, the price is very competitive with the “normal” methods used to meet people. I recommend that anyone who is on the fence give it a try. You only live once and it’s painful for me to even consider what my life would be like right now if I hadn’t turned to online dating.

8

About the Author:

Brad initially struggled with online dating but over time became quite successful using it. He met his wife using online dating and has been giving advice and helping people improve their results since 2007. He has written a Free Online Dating Guide to help others find success with online dating. You can learn more about his personal experience using online dating and running this website here.

Discussion

  1. Jim  September 20, 2010

    I could not disagree more about the e-Harmony experience. Having grown weary of the bar-frequenters, I tried this in order to pre-screen potential dates. I’m a good looking 30 yo professional who’s in shape and never had a problem picking up dates in said bar scene. Despite middle-of-the-road political leanings and a non-fanatical commitment to religious faith, I received all of two match listings in 6 months. I have no kids. I live in a major metropolitan center. One potential match was 600 miles away. The other was 150.

    The week prior to the cancellation of my 6-month subscription, I began receiving more matches than I could deal with. They were lovely and we seemed to have much in common. However, in talking with other guys and gals who have used it previously, it seems as though the consensus was that eHarmony scrimps on matches and has no problem letting you starve for 5 and 1/2 months prior to unleashing the floodgates. Were these people not ideal matches in the preceding 5 months?

    I am turned off by the site and think it is quite shady in terms of the matching algorithms.

    (reply)
    • Joe Connell  March 15, 2012

      I tried POF and got nothing suitable for a month. Finally met someone who really scared me once we got to talking about ourselves.

      eHarmony sent me many more matches; at least 10 a day. Many I rejected immediately due to circumstances not covered by eHarmony screening ie, travel, income, activities, etc.

      Within one month, I met with someone who later became my wife. I was not looking for a wife, but we clicked so much although our backgrounds and life experiences are very different.

      I recommend eHarmony whenever asked.

  2. Brad  September 20, 2010

    Hey Jim,

    Based on your story, obviously eHarmony wouldn’t be worth it. That being said, if it worked like that most of the time no one would use it at all.

    I’ve actually never heard of a case like this. I’ve heard of people complaining they didn’t have enough matches (and have even written about it here) but 2 matches in 6 months with a wide search radius? That sounds extremely strange. Did you have your two matches when you subscribed? My advice to anyone would be if you only have 2 matches and they are both 150+ miles away, don’t subscribe (and especially not for 6 months).

    To me, this sounds like something was very broken. For example, if you had your profile set to receive matches but their system wasn’t recognizing it or something like that. Did you contact their customer support? I would think you still might be able to now: if they can see in their records that you went 5+ months with no matches I would *hope* they would be willing to at least give you some free time.

    (reply)
  3. Ellen  July 22, 2011

    Eharmony is not worth the price. I signed up and got lots of matches but their personalities and interests were not a good match for me at all. Also, I got a lot of matches that had not been active in over a month or more. I also wanted to have a lower distance setting than 30 miles. I was getting matched with people living in another state. I live in a major metropolitan area. I am not traveling to another state or commuting long distances for a date.
    I also found the guided questions to be over personal. I am not going to discuss previous relationships or describe my parents marriage with someone I have never met and am only just getting to know.
    I found the whole thing over all to be very frustrating and wish that I had tried other sites first like Match.com and Okcupid before I commited several months to eharmony. I have had much better responses through those sites and would recommend that someone start there first.

    (reply)
  4. Kira  September 22, 2011

    I used Match.com and was only matched with people 5 years + younger than my preferred age range and 7 years + older than my preferred age range in six months of membership at Match.com I never went on a date and quickly became frustrated with the available matches. None of them seemed to fit my interests or beliefs … and no one wanted to meet in person, execpt for a 40 year old match that seemed nice but I am 29 now and was 27 at the time… for me 13 years is a little too far apart. Thought I was done with the online dating thing when I met my last boyfriend (not online) I moved in next to him… but now 1 year and 4 months later… I am single again and considering EHarmony because my brother used that site and went out on a few promising dates. He eventually met his fiance through friends but his experience with EHarmony was way better than mine w/ Match.com.

    (reply)
  5. Franklin Marques  December 18, 2011

    I just happened to stumble on this site when I was looking up eHar”money” costs and this article is completely untrue. eHa”money” is terrible. I have been a paying customer for 2 years and I never even have one date. Now before you ask, I am not some ugly, lying, nasty person, with no picture, a mostly blank profile, doesn’t contact or reply to matches, live in some remote area, has completely unrealistic requirements, etc. the service just is just terrible. I have been matched to 5600+ women and over 35% of them are closed, 54% are not good matches at all. That leaves the 11% I attempted communicated with.

    Of that 11%, 90% have never replied or just disappeared during contact. The site is filled with people just trying it out, people who are not actually serious about online dating, or have really high standards and are expecting to find their soul mate. I have only had long term contact with 2 users and they both live on the other side of the planet. This site is a rip off.

    eHar”money” only cares about cash, they don’t care about you.Their “matching” system is a joke. Avoid them. Use a free service like OkCupid, I at least got a few date on there.

    (reply)
  6. Brad  December 19, 2011

    Franklin – I’m going to have to disagree with you. My first 6 or 7 months of online dating was miserable like your experience with eHarmony has been but it turns out it was my approach to using the service that needed changed, not the dating service itself. I ended up going on lots and lots of dates from both eHarmony as well as some of its competitors. I commend you persistence if you’ve really managed to stick with it for 2 years but at the same time I’d encourage you to consider your approach when using eHarmony.

    That said, I do agree everyone should also be using OKCupid or a site like it since you can’t beat free. OKCupid is my favorite of the free ones.

    (reply)
  7. Simon  December 24, 2012

    When I joined Match a few months ago, I told myself that I would not get frusrated, but I can’t help it. I actually have read online dating advise and put effort into my profile, emails, etc. I have changed my profile, pictures, email content, got two responses out of 100 or so emails I sent. I am contacting women with similar interests, living around my area, not getting any responses is buffling.

    I am not bad looking guy, fit, athletic, with a sense of humor; maybe I am contacting wrong women, my photos my not be that great. I read Brad’s guide, unfortunately it has not gotten better. I will plug along and hope for the best.

    Simon

    (reply)

Add a Comment