Online Dating Blog

Note: In discussing this topic I’ll be using a Christian dating service as an example but I hope it becomes clear that this advice can be applied to many different types of niche sites. I use this example as I have some personal experience in the area. I also have a friend who has had success using a Christian service after having no luck with one of the “big” sites and I draw many of my thoughts from conversations with her.

With services like Match and eHarmony pulling in millions of unique visitors a month, some of us are left to wonder if the smaller niche dating services are worth our time. Can’t the big services provide all types of people to search through? It is true, the large sites have people of all types. However, niche dating sites can be very valuable because the big sites’ greatest strength (a large number of members) can also be a big weakness when looking for something specific in your dates.

As an example, a friend of mine was using one of the bigger dating services hoping to find a great guy and want him to be a committed Christian. There were plenty of profiles to select from, all meeting exactly the qualifications of her search. But after several months it was clear that her level of seriousness in her religion wasn’t matching up with the men she was meeting. One of the more painful parts of this process was that it often took meeting to recognize that the she was far more committed than her dates. This led to a cycle of excitement when first talking to disappointment when finally meeting.

In some cases, it seems that many people list a religion almost arbitrarily; that “Christian” just happens to be the default religion to select if you live in the U.S. Many of these people don’t follow any religion but, for whatever reason, don’t want to select agnostic or atheist and so we’re left with a very large number of people claiming a religion they don’t have an association with. Personally, I don’t have a problem with this. Maybe these people aren’t actively participating in a church but are open to dating someone who is or maybe their parents or grandparents were Christian and therefore they feel that this best describes them based on their up-bringing. While acceptable, this practice makes the process for those people serious about dating Christian singles very difficult using these services! There’s a lot of “weeding out” to be done on the big dating sites.

On the other hand, a site dedicated to Christian dating makes the searching process much easier. Normally there are far less members but even with fewer subscribers the opportunity at a niche site is much greater. For example, if I search Match.com within my local area (25 miles from my house), there are over 500 members who list being Christian. That’s a healthy amount of profiles to view! However, browsing through many of the profiles shows that this was just another box that was checked with little thought. Yes, there are profiles that make it clear that Christianity is important to the person but the trouble is finding them.

As a counter-point, I did a search at ChristianCafe.com and found close to 60 women within 25 miles of me. A much smaller number but there is actually more opportunity here. The search results even list how they feel about their faith (with the majority in my searches listing “It defines who I am”). Only those serious about their faith are going to use this service. People who are moderately interested in finding shared faith in their partner will not use a site like this because they’ll want the largest number of people to choose from since it’s not really a deal-breaker. This is great news for those who are using the niche services – a near guarantee that you’re number one priority in your partner will be shared by the people you are meeting. And so, with that in mind it become very clear that niche dating sites can be extremely beneficial and well worth the time.

As I said in the beginning, I selected a single niche to make my argument but the thoughts here could apply to Jewish singles, African-Americans, women who prefer the men they date have money (hey, whatever makes you happy), people who only want to date based on how well their pets get along (again…whatever makes you happy), geeks who want to meet other geeks…the list goes on and on. My point is that if there’s an area that is of primary importance to you and there’s a niche site that helps meet that need, using one can be very helpful. The big sites will always be bringing people of all types together but the niche sites can make that process much easier and, potentially, more rewarding.