Just because MTV now has a full series dedicated to “Catfish” doesn’t mean it’s just a young kid’s game. What is catfishing, you ask? We are not talking about a “plenty of fish in the sea” type reference. Catfishing is the slang term created to describe the situation where an online relationship has been happening for a significant amount of time, but the two parties have never met in person (nor have they Skyped or had other real-time interaction to verify that the person they are dating actually matches the pictures they have been looking at.)
The television show has followed some sad but all-too-real situations. A teen boy who thinks he is talking to a model, but then meets her in person and finds she is much heavier than the pictures, and not even her facial features were the same. A woman who met a man in person, only to find out he was actually married and never wanted to meet her in person in order to keep the “emotional cheating” from escalating to physical cheating. The story goes on but the moral is the same—you can never be sure who you’re talking to on the internet until you have met them face-to-face.
I’m a huge advocate of talking to somebody for a while before meeting him/her in person. Everybody has different expectations or comfort levels but for me, I’d rather know the man is someone I can communicate with for a few weeks until I am compelled to meet him in person. However, sometimes people wait much longer for one of many reasons—they have children, they are long distance, etc. The worry here is that (as can be seen on the show relatively frequently) you can begin to fall in love with everything you know about a person on paper, without ever having 100% verification they are who they say they are. Or, even if their pictures are real, you may be ignoring several red flags about somebody who claims to love you but has never made an effort to visit you yet in person.
Be aware that “catfishing” can be a problem on almost any online dating sites, although many companies try to monitor for this activity. Some people may “stretch the truth” by posting pictures when they were younger or more fit, but many out there are going above and beyond those “little white lies.” I can’t tell you how many of these stories included romances so strong, the victim had even lent hundreds of dollars for rent and bills to the other in order to help support them. Know who you are talking to, and make every effort to get on a live-time video cam as soon as possible if you can’t meet for coffee soon. There may be plenty of fish in the sea, but you never want it to be catfish season!
JUN
About the Author:
Rebecca is a late 20-something, still in the "dating as a young professional" phase of life. She enjoys soccer, travel and fitness and is currently accepting boyfriend applications, should your [brand name dating site] attempts be unsuccessful.