Online Dating Blog

Through this blog, from time to time I find myself reviewing profiles. One of the most common problems I see is the tendency for people to share a little too much, a little too fast. Often the extra details are confusing but other times they are damaging. In either case, the profile isn’t strengthened by it. I wanted to briefly discuss the idea of intentionally being aware of what you are revealing about yourself in your dating profile.

Photo by helgasms!

Your Dating Profile

Your profile should reveal the core of who you are. Any area that you feel helps define who you are as a person should be included. However, many of us don’t stop there. We start to get into details that just aren’t necessary: discussing how our previous relationships ended, revealing in too great detail what we expect in a relationship, discussing marriage in excessive amounts or just going out of our way to reveal the smallest details about ourselves.

There are a few problems with revealing excessive amounts about yourself in your profile.

1. The first reason, and perhaps often overlooked reason, is the length of your profile. I’ve read profiles that reveal so much that you had better get comfortable if you plan on finishing it. Even when I’m just reviewing a single profile for someone, I sometimes have to be careful to avoid skimming their profile. If I’m logging onto a site to read just one profile and have trouble finishing the profile, how will other who are looking at dozens of profiles handle it?
2. People often make relationship decisions for bad reasons. They’ll refuse to date someone because they have the smallest detail in common with an ex or they will have unreasonable requirements of the people they date. For these people, who often mean well, the more you reveal about yourself the more they are likely to reject you for something that probably shouldn’t matter.
3. You want to avoid coming off as strange. Most of us, if we date online long enough, will run into a strange character or two. After you’ve been on a few dates like this, you begin to go out of your way to identify these potential bad dates as early as possible. What you don’t want to have happen is to have someone else label you as that guy or girl who should be avoided. The problem is you really can be perfectly normal and through revealing too much in your profile can come off as odd.
4. Leaving a little mystery about yourself isn’t a bad thing. In fact, being a little mysterious can even cause others to want to learn more about you.

So What Do I Include in My Dating Profile?!

Not sure what to include in your profile? If you can’t decide what should be in and what should be out, the rule I use is this: Is this something I could see myself talking about within the first 5 minutes of meeting someone? For example, I could definitely see myself discussing my job, my hobbies, my family, what I’m looking for in someone I date or other general areas like this. It is difficult for me to see myself talking the details of my favorite book, getting into philosophy in any way, discussing pulling video game all-nighters or other topics that really have no place being discussed when it comes to making a good first impression.

For anyone still unsure, I would recommend reviewing my step-by-step profile creation guide which walks you through a process that I believe will help you create a profile that contains just enough information.