5 things I’ve learned from online dating

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Things have begun to become a little stale. That’s not to say that I’m not willing to put in the work to find the one. I’ve noticed some things that I would like to share with you.


  1. Women contact men very rarely, but if they do and the man follows through, he pretty much has a date.
  2. If a woman contacts you. She will not like indecisiveness or slow movement. If you move slowly you will lose your chance.
  3. Women receive at least two to three times the amount of mail that men do. They have their options.
  4. You may find that you are not always going to attract the type of person you thought you would.
  5. With free sites, it comes down to the old saying “You get what you pay for” Not to say that you can’t find someone. I have a friend that met her husband on POF.com I’m saying it’s a wee bit harder to find a suitable match.

So now that I’ve done three almost four months in the no pay zone of online dating. I think that it’s time to try a paid site. I don’t seem to be having as much luck with the free sites. I did have one date, so it is possible. I also have had my fair share of contacts from women. I’m told I’m doing good. When I am not interested I tend to let things move slowly, women sense this and move on.


So all in all things are going well, but not as well as I think it can.  I’m going to join a paid site and see where things go from there. Although it seems like I have not had a lot of success. I have had learning experiences, and that to me is just as good.


Stay tuned and let’s see what happens on a paid site. thanks for your time. have a good day.



About the Author:

Mike is returning to online dating after being away from dating for many years. While not an "expert", Mike brings a real view of the challenges of online dating and his opinions in dealing with those challenges.


  1. Greg Dean  August 26, 2017

    While we all have this habit of making snap judgments the moment we meet somebody new in real life, at least in real life we are forced to give somebody the chance to overcome our initial pre-judgments (As they may be very inaccurate). But online, I see the absolute proof that women are much more judgmental than men; because they have the chance to be. And online, they are not forced to give anyone a chance. Boom, delete. Next. Delete, next. Delete, next.

    Then, men are supposed to ‘feel lucky’ they were selected by a woman on a dating site to go through the interview process of first date that he pays for? It all is so crazy and corrupt now that we should all do just a few key things

    1) Be fit, healthy and strong. The best photos only.
    2) Ask whether it is worth the pain and frustration to date online
    3) Ask what is the outcome we seek as men and ask if there is a much cheaper and more direct way to get that.
    4) Know that we do not need to chase women. By having a great career (Meaning more financial security), having very healthy habits, having sporting adventurous hobbies, and being seen as good with kids will help.


    5) Most important; None of the above will matter if you can just be 6’0″ and have a six-pack. They will chase you when you just have number 5;

    Great article.

    Something we should all either master, or walk away from as there are many other adventures to pursue.

  2. Nigel  November 23, 2017

    I am not 6′ and I don’t have a six pack and I also don’t have much hair. I wouldn’t date me. I get dates no problem. I use paid sites. I prefer matching sites like EH. I am respectful. I always find something to comment on in a woman’s profile. I am patient and mostly follow the advice on this excellent site (I wish I had read it when I started but I have learnt the hard way).

    I have been offline for over a year but recently re-joined two weeks ago. I have chatted to 10+ women, dated two and have a second date this w/e. I think matching sites work better for me. Paid ones definitely. Keep the faith, use the advice on this site, be respectful and show interest in the people you interact with and you will be fine.

  3. Nigel  November 23, 2017

    One last thing. The most attractive thing is confidence. It trumps the six pack, tall-ness, blue eyes, everything! You may have no reason to feel confident but so long as you come across as confident it will work. Both online and when you meet. Not saying it is easy but it can be done.


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