Valentine’s day is hot on the horizon, folks! Is it worth celebrating? And how can you best use this celebration of love to improve your online dating success?
I used to view Valentine’s Day as a shallow Hallmark holiday. I used to feel expressions of love were forced because of a colander date, and that capitalism was the impure driving force behind this holiday. Over the years, my perspective of Valentine’s Day has shifted into a more and appreciative understanding that it is a modern day ritual. Valentine’s Day comes with traditional expressions, such as dinner for two, gifting roses, and requesting one to “be our Valentineâ€. Though the underlying sense of meaning for this day comes from connecting with our partner(s) in loving ways.
Showing our love can be channeled through different ‘love languages’ (as outlined by Gary Chapman), including spending quality time together, gift giving, physical touch, acts of service, and words of affirmation. This goes for budding relationships as well. Everyone prioritized different channels of love differently, so be true to what love language you prefer and with time, you will learn what speaks most dearly to your date / partner(s). Above all, maintaining respect and honesty are key, which we are seeing play out in a big way with the #metoo movement. Respect supports connection, and quality connection is what gives life meaning!
Make use of Valentine’s Day by inviting someone on a date. Your time together will be held in a ritualistic space with the very clear air of romance. Whether you desire to perform traditional V-day actions, like bringing a rose, is up to you. If you don’t feel that is appropriate to your fresh connection, or if you don’t particularly vibe with common valentine celebrations, you can opt out of the card exchanges and go for a hike or even meet for coffee. The point is, even a casual date on Valentine’s Day will be enhanced with a sense of being ‘special’ because it falls on February 14th. Take advantage of this! Everybody loves to feel special, and a lot of folk adore holiday celebrations. Why not invite someone to enjoy the day with?
The key is to manage your expectations, and not to get caught up in someone else’s expectations of what the day is supposed to look like. Everybody feels differently about Valentine’s Day, and it doesn’t have to be something tha weighs on your shoulders. If you are longing for a date, if you are bitter about the consumerist ideals behind V-day, or if you’re nervous your date might be disappointed if you don’t bring him or her a rose, then then take breath. The truth is, the day is about connection, and we can form genuine and uplifting connections with or without tradition. Feel into the moment, and flow with it!
Furthermore(!), the weeks leading up to Valentine’s Day are some of the busiest days for online dating networks. Busier networks mean greater likelihood of meeting a suitable match! Folks flock to the online scene as the desire for love becomes a more prominent theme in our culture – heart chocolates in the grocery store, flowers for sale on sidewalks, and likely releases of romantic comedy films. Love is in the air! If you have been struggling to connect with people online, you’ll likely have better chances if you start sending messages to individuals, and even set up a Valentine’s date!
Keep your eyes peeled for discounted rates for your preferred online dating network. These discounts and perks are shared directly through the app or website, and are often found through e-mail newsletters. So, if you haven’t signed up for the newsletter, it might be something worth considering!
Happy Valentine’s Day!
FEB
About the Author:
Stephanie Arnold is a writer, visual artist and composer who seeks to unveil the working structures of the human psyche. She works to share valuable insights that stem from personal experience and assist in the development of deeper levels of self-awareness, especially in regards to a sincere and healthy relationship to love and loving. The core of her philosophy is that self-love is the root of loving outwardly, and is therefore necessary to develop if one wishes to create fruitful relationships with others. Her evolving portfolio may be found at www.lovefromwithin.org.