Difficulties with online dating

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There are many difficulties in online dating and finding that special someone can be hard.

I recently met a woman online. She approached me, and I thought, wow this could be good. We were only talking for a day when she gave me her number. I thought ok this is easier than going back and forth on the dating site. Honestly, she moved quicker than I’m accustomed to and, for me, that can be a red flag. However, I decided to not jump to conclusions and gave her the benefit of the doubt.

She opened up quick telling me personal things about her self and family. I was not put off by this but did feel a little concerned. She had mentioned that she had a DUI, which to me is not a deal breaker since everyone makes mistakes. It was surprising that this would come up so early in getting to know one another.

We went ahead and scheduled a date. This all started on Saturday and we had set the date on Monday. Things were moving along at what I thought to be a quick pace, but I was willing to go along with things.

When we made the date we agreed to meet at a bar that is halfway between us. The more I thought about it the more I grew uncomfortable with the idea. I’m not into drinking, and really had no interest in going to a bar. A place that would be loud, smoke filled with people drinking..it’s just not my cup of tea like it once was. So I asked if we could schedule the date for another place and she agreed. I thought things were fine but come Wednesday, she became short with me in the text telling me she was with her kids. I thought, ok no big deal. So I decided I would not text on Thursday and if she had the time she would contact me. Thursday came and went and so did Friday. Our date was set for Saturday.
I waited until Saturday and I text asking if we were still on. I already knew, but I like to give people the benefit of the doubt. No response. My thoughts are this: it’s better to be open and honest with a person rather than just blow them off. Would she have let me go to the date without telling me she wasn’t interested any longer? Is that somehow better than just being honest? People don’t always appreciate honesty, but to me, it’s better to be open and clear. Plus it doesn’t leave a person wondering what they did or what happened – let’s be adults about it. It’s just common courtesy.

Also, Learn to go with your gut feeling. If you feel like something’s not right from the beginning, listen to your gut. That may not mean ending communication entirely, but be sure to proceed with caution when things don’t feel right.



About the Author:

Mike is returning to online dating after being away from dating for many years. While not an "expert", Mike brings a real view of the challenges of online dating and his opinions in dealing with those challenges.

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