Online Dating Blog

Online dating websites have designed algorithms that serve to connect singles based on their compatibility. Each programme holds claim that the technology behind the algorithm is intelligent, innovative and accurate. They are uniquely developed by the hosting company and operate with some variances when compared to one another, though the general technologies at work and meaningful data are relatively the same.

How do online dating algorithms work?

When we explore the function of online dating algorithms, we discover there are several layers operating at once. Some of these layers are considered basic as they have been long developed and implemented into search engines. For instance, a more basic function surrounds the personal information that we input on our profile. We experience the system navigating this information to display more qualified candidates when we use search filters to narrow our search results to individuals who suit our desired location radius, age, sex and sexual orientation. Other layers of algorithms extend a little deeper, bringing us to the realm of more recent developments and additions. Many websites now include the option of filling out surveys that seek to unearth specific interests, philosophies, standards and values. The answers we provide to these questions are typically from a list of multiple-choice, with some websites like OkCupid offering an opportunity to write a note to clarify our answers or to rate how important this question is to us. In this way, programmes ensure that questions surrounding our preference for Batman or Spider-Man does not necessarily have the same compatibility impact as a question about whether or not we want to have children. The answers we provide on these surveys are then processed in comparison to the answers given by other people on the network, and our chances of compatibility increase in correlation with the percentage of common answers.

Something to also consider is the state we are embodying while answering these survey questions. When we are alone in our homes, perhaps setting up our profiles late at night, an aspect of ourself will be surfaced to reflect this time, state, and space. We may be more serious, melancholy or goofy while alone, which will influence the type of answers we give. While in the company of others, we may become quite the opposite, and so the impression we create while in one state of being may not necessarily carry on into the future. Furthermore, how often do you update your questions? The memories ignited by each question also create associations, so that when we answer one question, such as “Is love or sex more important to you?” we may be responding to a specific past experience without even realizing it and not giving an answer that is more true to our deeper selves.

Traditional match-makers versus mathematical algorithms

A match-maker is as an individual who connects individuals under a romantic pretext based on a sense that compatibility is high and sparks may fly. Online dating uses algorithms to serve this role for the vast membership that, for some platforms, reaches into the thousands. Individuals all receive the assistance of being pointed towards a match of likely success, creating a forward momentum towards companionship that is perhaps a little less daunting and a little more promising.

Traditional match-makers and mathematical algorithms naturally carry innate differences. On the one hand, personal match-makers are both receptive and reliant on feedback from the individuals they set up. Learning about the compatibility that was or was not shared between the couple allows the match-maker to further refine their sense of how to better serve each individual. A continued dialogue allows the match-maker to understand what each individual is looking for consciously as well as what they truly respond to in a positive, intimate and romantic way. Sometimes we believe we want one thing in a partnership or a date, but our unconscious behaviours support something different. For example, someone may believe they want a ‘nice guy,’ but their habitual trends lean more towards dominant and perhaps even abusive partners, revealing an unconscious reality that makes the person attract and feel attracted to people who are less than nice. The match-maker role works personally with the individuals involved, getting a sense of who they are in a variety of environments, most notably while in the social context of their meetings. This is significant as our personalities shift and different aspects of our character are revealed while in the company of others versus in the company of ourselves. A relationship is obviously a form of social relating, and so therefore it is effective to share your desires through dialogue with a match-maker.

On the other hand, mechanical matchmaking – in the form of mathematical algorithms – is a more detached method of coupling based on data. If you happen to find your matches online are not to your tastes, there is no room for personal discussion and alteration to the equations formulating your compatibility suggestions. There is room to give feedback to the programmers, but to submit your feedback does not necessarily open up dialogue that may be used to improve your matches, and thus it remains impersonal as a single voice amongst a crowd, collected as a piece of data.

Do algorithms improve dating success rates?

There is undoubtedly psychological impacts on the users of online dating websites when presented with match results. The affirmation of compatibility speaks to our emotional bodies, creating a sense of positive connection with individuals before we have even looked at their profile. Some websites will present a statistical representation of our compatibility by revealing what percentage exists that we may share a connection. This is a technique employed to appeal to our rational mind and to create an awareness that the algorithms are at work and that they are responsible for listing the profiles that you see. The truth remains, however, that regardless of if the algorithm existed, we would still encounter other profiles by choosing to search the databank. Search filters are necessary to reveal an appropriate reach, however the complicated structures put in place to connect us with individuals who answered the same surveys is not totally necessary in order to become connected with someone. Furthermore, in cases of even high compatibility predictions, we are still responsible for reading the profile to generate a deeper sense of interest in the style of expression and personal information shared by that individual. To go a little deeper, we may approach the design strategically used to influence users further; the compatibility percentage being typed in green text. People respond positively to text when it is written in green. This is a reflection of the same psychology behind the intense responses generated by the colour red. By using green, our idea that someone is a likely candidate for us is further affirmed, resulting in a state of mind and heart that is carried forth into the experience of reading their profile and writing a first message.

On the flip side, to be boosted with positive energy while initially connecting with a potential date means that we are more likely to create positive first impressions. We read their profile through a lens that we are already compatible, and if we choose to initiate contact, we are more likely to use positive language. This is attractive! The person receiving your message will experience you as desirable as a result, and therefore your new connection is off to a good start.

By basing matches on common interests, a wide variety of icebreakers become available for when we first initiate conversation and when we first meet. Due to our shared interests, there are plentiful options to choose from when it comes to kick-starting your conversation. Greater confidence of these subjects being well-received will exist, and so initiating the first message becomes less threatening or fear-based. The degree of impact these strategies have over influencing our energy towards another person and the likelihood of initial contact varies with how conscious we are of ourselves, our needs, desires and the techniques being employed to influence us.

Nonetheless, the success rate of relationships is based primarily on shared values, communication and commitment rather than common interests. Algorithms only go so far in revealing the depths of your character and finding a suitable match. While they make it easier to form new connections – which is a crucial step to finding a partner that often proves the most challenging for a lot of people – it remains your responsibility to gauge for yourself whether or not a date is truly in alignment with your heart and personal well-being. You may bond all you want over Star Trek or bicycle touring, but are you both compassionate, supportive and encouraging?

Conclusion

In the end, algorithms are useful for helping us to bridge the first challenging step of online dating and creating partnership; meeting a potential date. They assist us to feel confident and positive at this earliest stage of a relationship, which helps create a momentum towards a healthy and positive connection for the longer term. We must also remember it is our personal responsibility to maintain an inner awareness of when a relationship is truly serving our highest good, and if compatibility truly feels to run deep. It would also be wise to still consider those who do not rank the highest on our match list, for you never know if a gem lies amongst the individuals grouped as ‘incompatible’ by an algorithm that is, ultimately, impersonal.