I recently spilled my guts about my online dating hesitations and the first relationship I was in that came via an online match-up. To date, I have only met three men in person after meeting on the internet. Yes, I am that stubborn about meeting people online, plus I have had equal, if not better, success in the tried and true, old fashioned finding-dates-through-friends-and-hobbies approach.
Anyway, two of my online dating first dates became relationships, and the third was a quick brunch-date while I was visiting a friend in the city he lived in (we mutually decided there was not enough of a spark to continue talking for a long-distance relationship, and that was all there is to that story!)
My Second Relationship with Online Dating
The second relationship was with a man who was a military officer stationed in Qatar at the time, and we quickly hit it off, with neither of us looking to start a long distance relationship. It became more of a penpal friendship, which of course made it easier and faster to open up to one another. The more I was there for him, the sweeter he was – to the point where he worked to find the address to my office and had flowers delivered on my birthday (amd I didn’t even realize he remembered when my birthday was!)
The kicker was when he came back from deployment. We had arranged to meet on the Monday he got back to the US. My best friend had planned a girl’s night for Friday, and I was excited to gush to her about meeting this man in person soon. When I showed up to the restaurant, my girlfriends weren’t there, but a familiar-looking man was. He was well-dressed and walking into the restaurant with a bouquet of roses. For me.
He had been so excited to see me that he had arranged this whole surprise with my best friend (who he had often Skyped with when she was at my house.) Let me point out, his hometown is still 1.5 hours away from mine. He had even gotten a hotel room, so as not to be presumptuous or pressure me to let him stay if we ended up going out for drinks after dinner.
Everything was fantastic, and he had fairy tale evening planned that swept me off my feet. Ladies, this does actually happen. The problem is, whether it was about the chase, the idea, or the missing romance while he was away, the relationship was fleeting and his military life kept him too much on the run. Unfortunately, in the long run things didn’t work out.
Sometimes “Success” May Not be Long-Term
I am a huge advocate of believing actions speak louder than words. Which, in this case, may have been my downfall. Let yourself get swept up in happy times and always appreciate romantic gestures, no matter how big or small, but remember it’s more important to notice the intent and authenticity behind them.
What took me a long time to realize was that just because these “fairy tale gestures” didn’t lead to a happily-ever-after doesn’t mean they were insincere or led to a miserable-ever-after instead. They just led to a shorter chapter within the story that’s still yet to be written.
JUL
About the Author:
Rebecca is a late 20-something, still in the "dating as a young professional" phase of life. She enjoys soccer, travel and fitness and is currently accepting boyfriend applications, should your [brand name dating site] attempts be unsuccessful.