Several dozen reasons exist why somebody who did respond to your initial message would suddenly stop chatting with you, and there are equally as many ways you can handle it.
Brad, “the dating advice guy” who has created this site, has a full section on this in his free Online Dating Guide, so I won’t bore you with repetition. I will, however, tell you from a first-hand standpoint about a few very specific situations that I have dealt with, and how they were handled (some great, and others terrible!)
Different People, Different Schedules
I often check my dating site for a few days, and then suddenly get wrapped up in life and forget about the internet for weeks at a time. If a person responds to you weeks later and this is their excuse, it is legitimate in my book. And to be honest, it’s probably a good sign that they have a lot going on aside from monitoring their dating page!
Get the Show on the Road Already!
Sometimes I’ll stop responding because every message that a guy sends me maxes out at 2 lines. While conversations don’t always have to be long or substantial, at some point you should feel that you are connecting a little deeper than “how was your day” every day for three weeks. To prevent this from happening, ask questions and make an effort to remember follow-ups such as “Hey, wasn’t your art show on Friday? How did that end up?”
Nice to Meet You…?
Here’s something trivial but if I bail because of it, I can’t be the only one…ask me my name! If we have been talking for a few days and I have told you my name (which I always do, because that’s how you introduce yourself to people) but you haven’t reciprocated… or you never ask for mine in the first place… I feel like the meeting is not genuine and that you are sending mass messages, making no effort directed towards me as an individual. Call me crazy if you want, but again, if you wanted to get inside my most honest thoughts, here they are!
What About Writing Again after No Response
As Brad has previously discussed, it is absolutely appropriate to message somebody a second time if they haven’t responded to you in over a week. You can ask if they got busy, you could ask a follow-up-type question mentioned above or you could start a new topic entirely. They may have read your last message and intended to get back to you but never did.
What you should NOT do is the following:
2 days without a reply: “Hello? Wow, just when I thought you were cool. Where did you go?”
3 days without a reply: “You are being a b****. Just like all the chicks on here. If you want to chat again call me sometime.”
Yes, this has happened. What do I even say to that?! Is that message supposed to make me jump up and reply to you and apologize for going missing? It’s surely not going to pick up our conversation!
And as usual, read the signs. If they still don’t get back to you, take it for what it’s worth and remember that the right person will be counting down the minutes to talk to you again… so don’t waste time on one missing email.
JUN
About the Author:
Rebecca is a late 20-something, still in the "dating as a young professional" phase of life. She enjoys soccer, travel and fitness and is currently accepting boyfriend applications, should your [brand name dating site] attempts be unsuccessful.