The latest craze for the online dating world is the use of a professional writer to spruce up, rewrite, or create your dating profile. The goal is to bring out your most appealing attributes to increase the likelihood of attracting a potential companion. Is this a form of lying? What are the pros and cons of using a writer to charm the fish in the sea?
Is a Professionally Written Profile Lying…?
Employing a professional writer to ghostwrite your profile isn’t necessarily lying. The key to determining this is whether or not the information you provide to your hired gun is truthful…and if you provide truthful answers to any follow-up questions asked. Lying occurs when either you or the writer provides dishonest information to the public or any person.
Professionals use writers every day. That doesn’t make them less competent in their profession. It means that they know they aren’t writers. It means they know they have ideas that they want expressed in a certain manner. I write a variety of documents and articles for attorneys, doctors, dentists, and business people. The information presented within is truthful. Just because they put their name on it instead of mine doesn’t make it a lie. It just makes it ghostwritten.
Pros of a Professionally Written Dating Profile
Like with any form of writing, there are positive aspects involved with hiring someone to write your dating profile. The old adage is true: we are our own worst critic…unless you’re a narcissist or show sociopathic tendencies. At that point, you are the center of your own universe and think you should be the center of the entire world…but I digress. Hiring a professional that is neutral to the success of your love life is positive in the sense of seeing the bigger picture of you. This person can paint you in a more positive light. Where you may focus on one area like how much you love to run, a third party to your situation can see the broad picture of your life.
A professional writer knows how to use the right words. It is the writer who is in the business of capturing attention. Have you ever taken notice of the words that happens to keep your attention? Ads are written in a certain way to garner attention from a specific audience. A dating profile should be designed to attract attention from people that you will most likely enjoy.
While completing my research for this article, I read over a few profiles that were sent to me by single friends. Many of the profiles were off putting (and most likely the most extreme of the extreme). They singled out people and put themselves on a pedestal in an effort to appear cultured. If you call specific groups or types of people names or discuss how you most enjoy quiet evenings at home because of the ignorance of the general public, you don’t need to date. If you choose to date, you need a professional writer. You sound like a bully instead of an intellectual.
Cons of a Professionally Written Dating Profile
There are potentially negative consequences to using a professional writer. The first, and most troublesome, is that your potential companion may find out that someone else wrote your profile…and that may cast doubt on you. We live in a world that is known for being less than forthcoming with the truth. They may wonder why you needed someone to talk about you or question your communication skills. I took a poll on the subject of using a professional writer for this purpose.
Most people stated they would not use a writer to manage their dating profile. The most common reasoning behind this decision was the desire to ensure that the profile allowed their genuine self to show. My follow up question was how they would feel if they found out someone they met online and really liked did not write their own profile. The common answer was: it depends. If they really liked the person and had dated them for months (or in one guy’s case a couple of years), then they wouldn’t care. If they found out on the first or second date, they would feel like skeptical about anything their date would say going forward in the relationship.
A writer may not show your personality and traits in the way that you imagined it. Writers are only human. Most of the time writers work remotely from their home or private office. This means that contact with you, the client, is limited to e-mail, messaging, Skyping, and maybe a phone call. That means that a lot of body language can be missed by the writer that won’t or can’t actually meet with you in person. Don’t be afraid to speak up if you believe something needs to be changed. Find out before entering into a contract how many edits or rewrites are included in their fee.
Choosing the Right Help
If you choose to hire out, look for a writer with a reasonable rate. This is not a job that should take weeks to complete. This is a writing job that will take a couple of short interviews or follow up questions in addition to reading over the information you want in your profile. You have the option to take the profile and change it to suit your liking.
There are more pros and cons than listed in this short article. Determine in advance whether you will be upfront with potential dates about who wrote your profile. It is perfectly acceptable to say someone helped you with it. In fact, many of the paid dating websites offer a service that will assign a professional writer to your profile. It is an additional paid service. Since the profile represents you, you are the one that is ultimately responsible for its contents…good, bad, or indifferent. Just remember that the ultimate product is you. The profile is the packaging.