The New Year is a very popular time for people to decide to address being single. There will be many people making New Year’s resolutions to find a relationship this year and there will be a spike in the people using online dating services because of that.
Maybe you fall into this category of people deciding to try online dating, either for the first time or once again. I would encourage you to do so if you’re thinking about it, but I also want to offer some advice on how you should set your goal for trying online dating.
The Common Goal
A common goal with trying online dating as your New Year resolution is to aggressively try online dating (or whatever method of dating) until Valentine’s day. Many people see the six weeks from the beginning of the year until February 14th as more than enough time to find a great relationship, particularly people trying online dating for the first time.
I would recommend against this. First, because online dating is harder than it looks from the outside. For people who haven’t used online dating, many people come from this point of view:
- First, I’m not trying online dating because of what people would think of me or because doing so would mean that I have failed.
- Second, if I did decide to try online dating, I’d probably be in a relationship in a few weeks.
I don’t think the first idea is a very good reason to not try online dating. But that’s a different conversation. I think the second idea, that online dating will be so easy, is dangerous. I say that because what happens is that people with this kind of thought of become very frustrated in as little as two weeks of online dating. If you’re not preparing yourself for some persistent searching, you’re likely not going to be prepared for the challenge of online dating.
A Better Goal for Your Online Dating Resolution
First, recognize that February 14th is a rather arbitrary date to set as your goal. Does Valentine’s Day really have that much to do with why you want a relationship? Sure, you’d feel better on that one day if you had someone to date…but wouldn’t you feel better on ALL the days if you had someone to date?
I think a better way to set your dating resolution goal. I would recommend that you give yourself a reasonable amount of time to actually have success. I think six months is great but for many people three months is something they find easier to commit to. Either time-frame works well as most services, such as eHarmony or Match.com, both have cheaper plans for the three or six month time-frame.
Second, as a part of your goal recognize that this won’t necessarily be easy to find a great relationship. And this is true for most resolutions…we generally don’t resolve to correct the easy problems in our life. So recognize that this will be a challenge. Mentally prepare yourself to put in the time even when you find it frustrating. Of all the advice I could give, to be persistent is the one that I think will have the biggest impact in your online dating success.
I wish you luck if you’re giving online dating a try as your New Year resolution this year! Recognize that it may be a challenge and I think you’re well on your way to finding success.