Most dating sites include the opportunity for a person to include their salary range as a part of their dating profile. Some people feel this is a bit too personal so it’s not uncommon to see this left blank.
However, financial success can be very attractive. I remember reading (and I apologize that I can’t recall the specifics) that in dating, a man could overcome nearly any negative quality with enough money. Some negative qualities would just require more money than others!
The truth is that’s not too surprising. Looking at our culture we can see this happening just as we can see men ignoring the negative qualities in beautiful women.
Should I List My Salary if I Want a Good Relationship?
All that being said, the successful man or beautiful woman often worry that they’re being selected for the wrong reason. Here’s the way one of my readers phrased it:
I did have one more quick question. Salary, list it or not? I’m at a point where I would check the 150+ box. I would take this to reflect financial stability but on the down side it may attract people looking specifically for a higher salary only or could be viewed maybe as bragging. Better to show it or leave it blank?
Am I Bragging?
To start with his second question, I don’t think this is bragging. Generally, we just fill in a radio button/checkbox to specify our salary range. Bragging would be concentrating on that fact in your profile or repeatedly talking about your success.
On its own, I don’t feel that listing your salary range is any more bragging than a beautiful woman including a photo on her profile.
But They Might Only Want Me for My Money…
The truth is, yes, some women might just contact a man because of the money that he makes. But success is an attractive trait for a man and just because a woman becomes interested due to this doesn’t mean the relationship would be a bad one. Again, when we consider beautiful women, there are plenty of good relationships started by good guys simply because he found her attractive.
In other words, just because I picked my wife in part because I found her attractive doesn’t make me a bad or shallow person. Attractiveness is important to me (and most people). Likewise, just because a woman responds to a man in part due to his financial success, that doesn’t make her bad or shallow either.
Is there a risk? Sure there is. But the great thing is you can be selective with online dating. Remember, the profile and everything else in online dating is really just a tool to meet someone. Will you meet some women who are clearly too interested in the money you make? Sure. But you’ll also meet plenty of women who find that quality attractive but are also great relationship material. There’s a difference between a gold-digger and a normal woman who simply finds a successful man attractive. I think if you take dating seriously and learn who the woman really is, you can separate the good from the bad.
It’s a Judgment Call
At the end of the day, I do think it’s a judgment call. If you’re a man who wants to build a relationship without discussing your income, that’s totally fine.
However, if a beautiful woman contacted me and complained that she was having no success using online dating BUT she had no photos posted, I would encourage her to change that! Likewise, if a successful man can operate with some caution, the benefit of listing his income range can be quite helpful in his online dating life.
But when it’s all said and done, you need to be comfortable with your decision: I vote include it, but choose what you feel it right for your situation.
Photo by 401(K) 2013 via Flickr