Following the pattern from my last post, I wanted to highlight an old post that I think still holds a lot of value today. Many of these old posts I highlight come from a time when I had very few readers so in some cases some of my favorite articles are getting very few eyes on them..
In this case I wanted to discuss my post on Bad Dates and Your Dating Mind-set. This article covers something I see from time-to-time as I give out advice on this site: people who are too quick to blame themselves for every bad date they end up on.
In particular, first dates consist of both of these areas:
- What you bring to the table on a first date and how much your date likes those things
- How much your date brings to the table on a first date and how much you appreciate those items
It’s a two-way street. However, many people seem to only concern themselves with the second bullet: “How much does my date like me?” I’ve seen people who take this approach be treated poorly by a date only to respond that they must have done something wrong. They didn’t do anything wrong! They just went on a date with a jerk.
If you’re only thinking about what your date thinks of you, you’re missing half of the point. It’s not just what they think of you, it’s also what you think of them. Sometimes we get caught up in this role of wanting to be liked and forgive every flaw our date might have. If we can step back from these situations and judge them with an open mind, we often find that we let our dates get away with murder.
So don’t let someone walk all over you and then blame yourself for a bad date! Remember, you should be looking for what you want.
JUN
About the Author:
Brad initially struggled with online dating but over time became quite successful using it. He met his wife using online dating and has been giving advice and helping people improve their results since 2007. He has written a Free Online Dating Guide to help others find success with online dating. You can learn more about his personal experience using online dating and running this website here.