Online Dating Blog

In this one phrase, “How to seduce a woman”, I believe many men are led down the wrong path when looking for companionship. I am convinced this is a very disappointing statement for anyone who has found their way here looking to have this question answered. However, I would ask that you give me just a few minutes of your time to explain my case before you insist on continuing your quest to have this secret revealed. Allow me to present my case and then, regardless of what you decide, I wish you the best in whatever you choose.

Why Seduction Advice Doesn’t Work

Seduction For Three Easy Payments of $19.99…
For the single man, there are countless sites devoted to the topic of “seduction”. I need to let you in on a secret about these sites: most of the articles written on the subject would be better named How to Make Money Off of Lonely Men. There is truth in this statement, trust me. Advice on seduction rarely has the goal of bring a man success; it is about bringing the author of the advice money.

Photo by purpleslog
Seduction is a Skill Applied in Many Areas
What is at the center of seduction? Making promises to obtain what you want with no intention of fulfilling what you appear to be offering. If a man has become skilled at seducing women, could he not then turn this skill to make money off of men as well? I do believe that many men giving advice on the art of seduction are very skilled in the area but that’s the problem! That skill will be applied to you just as swiftly as it was to the women he has “conquered”.

Promises will be made to you of finding great success with little or no effort aside from changing some patterns and applying questionable acts. Oh, seduction is definitely occurring but not where you believe it to be. Seduction has occurred long before you even give them your money; long before it fails and you realize the truth that you were the one being fooled.

Get-Rich-Quick Schemes Don’t Work
Get-rich-quick schemes don’t work. This is common knowledge. We know this while we watch the latest get-rich-quick scheme and laugh but forget it so quickly when we find ourselves in the same position of wanting our problem solved quickly and easily. Do not allow yourself to forget this! The easier the solution the more suspicious you should be. Get-love-quick (or get-sex-quick for that matter) is just a different flavor of the very same thing as get-rich-quick. If your common sense tells you that one doesn’t work, why would you believe the other would?

Exceptions Aren’t Rules
Every get-rich-quick scheme provides examples of why their scheme will work for you. Keep in mind that the lottery could be sold the same way: winners could speak of how they won their millions after buying a single ticket. Just because there have been lottery winners does not mean that buying lottery tickets is a good way to make a living. Likewise, there will always be men who claim a system worked but the people who sell seduction schemes get to choose which stories they share. If I sell 1,000 copies of a book on seduction and it works for one man, I use that one man as my example and say nothing of the other 999.

Photo by Robert S. Donovan
Do You Really Have What It Takes to Seduce?
It takes a particular kind of man to be able to lie to women about anything if it means he’ll get what he wants. Men who have to search out how to accomplish this are not naturally inclined to this type of activity. The truth is, if you need to find advice on how to trick women to get into bed, you’re probably just not that kind of guy. You will find the advice offered both unnatural and uncomfortable when you follow it. You must ask yourself this question: Am I really willing to hurt other people to get what I want?

Think on this question seriously. If the answer is yes, then by all means continue to search on how to “seduce” women and pay for advice that’s going to get you nowhere (in most cases). If you realize that getting what you want at any cost to another person isn’t really what you want, I hope you’ll abandon this pursuit.

Are the Results of Seduction Really What You Want?
The results offered by seduction techniques are not what many men are looking for. Many men just want success in relationships and this is the next stop in their search for that success. Maybe you feel lonely enough or unpopular enough to think you can be this kind of person…but I believe you’ll find that the results don’t fulfill your desires. This in-turn makes the seduction advice even harder to listen to. Is your only desire to get women into bed? If you are looking for anything more substantial, seduction advice will be that much harder to follow and even success will feel empty.

If Seduction Is Still For You…
If you still believe that seduction is for you, I suspect that I know exactly what you’ll get out of the process. Still, far be it from me to tell others what to do. I’ll even try to offer some help: be wary of anyone who tries to convince you to purchase their advice using fear. The best marketing the seller of seduction has is fear. The fear that if you don’t pay for their advice that you’ll be missing out. All will be lost if you don’t receive their help. The more fear is used, the less faith I would put in that advice. Don’t assume the fear will be words alone: they’ll be creating it using barely dressed women as well. These women are there to “remind” you of what you’ll miss without their help.

There is a Better Way to Find Relationships

For those who are looking for something more than what seduction has to offer, I would recommend reading what I consider to be real dating advice. I believe that you are in one way making a good decision by looking for advice, you’ve just started in the wrong place.

There is good advice and bad advice and recognizing the difference is important. Good advice isn’t as hard to recognize as you might think. Just ask this simple question when reading advice: “What is this person’s motivation for giving advice?” The best answer is that they really have the desire to help you find a great relationship. Any other motivator will bring their advice into question (see my article here on recognizing 10 tips on taking dating advice). Here are some sites to start you off on finding valuable advice:

About.com Dating Advice	Break-Up Girl
The Dating Goddess	Datingish
It’s Just Lunch	Your Tango
Happy Girl Musing	Dating Thoughts
Luvem-Leavem	Manslations
Single Mom Seeking	The Dating Papers

Obviously I offer dating advice as well 😉

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