How Do I Write an Email to a Woman with Nothing Interesting in Her Profile?

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I see this question come up from time to time. The first question I always find myself asking is: Why? Why would you want to contact someone who had nothing interesting in her profile?

beautiful photo, empty profile

I already know the answer as it’s not too hard to figure out: she’s attractive. Even though I wonder at contacting someone who you don’t find interesting, I will still try to answer this to the best of my ability.

First is her profile missing details or do you simply not find what she discusses interesting?

For the Profile Lacking Any Details

For the woman who lists nothing of substance in her profile but does upload attractive photos of herself, I can’t help but wonder if this is a woman who is willing to lean solely on her attractiveness to find dates.

I think for the purposes of contacting a woman with this type of profile, you very well may be able to get by with a compliment and an invitation to have a drink. If her beauty is how she meets men and she is comfortable with it, I see no reason for you to break that mold. A simple “You look beautiful in your photos. Would you like to have coffee/beer sometime.” would be fine.

Dating Scam Profiles Often Follow This Pattern
Be aware that people who perpetrate online dating scams will often use attractive women as bait to take advantage of men so look at these lopsided profiles with some skepticism.

For the Profile You Have Nothing In Common With

I’m aware of the “opposites attract” idea but if you have nothing in common with a woman but are motivated by her attractiveness, I can’t help but feel that you would be wasting her time (and yours in the long run).

If you are motivated solely on attractiveness, my advice is to find another attractive woman who you do have something in common with. Just because you don’t feel she has anything interesting in her profile doesn’t make her uninteresting! It just makes her a bad match for you. The only other option is to either fake an interest or hope that your looks are enough to have her return interest.


In my opinion, a profile lacking anything interesting is not a good sign for dating that woman. I understand beauty is a powerful motivator but I wouldn’t waste my time pursuing a woman on looks alone. I truly do believe you’ll be wasting your time but if you are determined to contact a woman based on her looks alone I don’t see how you’re going to have any success making conversation so include an invitation for a first date in your first email.

 

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About the Author:

Brad initially struggled with online dating but over time became quite successful using it. He met his wife using online dating and has been giving advice and helping people improve their results since 2007. He has written a Free Online Dating Guide to help others find success with online dating. You can learn more about his personal experience using online dating and running this website here.

Comments

  1. Jon  November 23, 2010

    A profile that’s missing important details may be a red flag indicating that the person behind it isn’t that serious about online dating. I recently contacted a woman on Match with a lovely picture, some interesting (and well-written) tidbits of information, but a sketchy main ad. After emailing her a few times it became apparent that she hadn’t met anyone through the site, despite being on there a while – another red flag. It took me a more than a month of emails before it became apparent that she wasn’t going to meet me either.

    Some girls are on these sites because they want to flirt, ‘test the waters’ or because their friends are doing it too. But they aren’t really serious about actually meeting anyone. A profile that obviously has some effort and thought behind it is more likely to indicate a ‘genuine’ online dater.

    • Will  December 19, 2011

      I had the same thing like you Jon. I was talking with a lady online, then it moved to txting and we both agreed to meet somewhere a few days ago. Well after spending money on txting minutes and on that same day we were suppose to meet she wrote me via txt saying she was sick and in the bathroom sick.

      After a bunch of yipper yapper back and forth her last message was she will txt me after she get’s off of work!!! How can she be at work when she was at home in the bathroom pukin??

      Yep she was a goner!!

  2. Jlyn  May 25, 2011

    I’m one of the girls who has the photos but very minimal info. This does not mean a girl has no “substance.” It simply means she is not comfortable giving every detail about herself online. If the physical attraction is there, and she accepts your invite for a drink, who are you to assume if she is very interesting or brilliant, or not? Don’t judge the book by it’s cover, as they say.

  3. Brad  May 25, 2011

    I suppose that’s true Jlyn: physical attraction is an important part of relationships and if that’s the only motivation you want to give guy as a reason to contact you then more power to you.

    That said, as a guy I feel that profiles that take this approach make it much harder to contact the woman compared to those profiles that have substance. I agree we shouldn’t judge a book by its cover but sometimes the cover is all we’re being given!