In my online dating guide, I discussed how first contact should be made. To quickly sum it up: keep the email brief with some type of proof you read the profile.
I’ve covered those points several times in the past so why bring them up again? Primarily because I’ve always been providing second-hand information (that is, bad experiences I have heard about from the women I dated). Today, however, I found a blog post that speaks directly to the points I cover but from a first-hand perspective of a woman.
Little Miss Law’s post does an excellent job of showing what women have to deal with and she gives an actual example on why long emails only end badly. One thing that really blew my mind was how one of the men decided to end an email he had sent her:
I haven’t dated yet but hey, gotta start somewhere.
I’m not sure what he was trying to convey with this statement but this is what I’m getting from it: he is telling a woman that he has to start somewhere and it may as well be her. He opens up his email with compliments only to end with “you’ll do”. Also, “Hey, gotta start somewhere” is the kind of statement one person says to another when starting a long, painful job not when trying to win over a woman! Is the glare of the computer screen adversely affecting how people are thinking or are there men in the real world dropping lines like this? At any rate, try not to inadvertently offend the person you are emailing. If you’re not sure how to do that just keep your email short and chances are you’ll be fine! Proof-reading is a plus too…
Little Miss Law’s post proves that online dating can be a struggle. For women, one struggle is that there is a healthy amount of communication but very little of it is good. For guys, or at least this guy, the struggle was sticking with online dating even though there were times where I wondered if women ever replied to emails. To that point: guys, don’t get down on yourself if you’re not receiving as many responses as you would like. Keep your emails brief and friendly but also keep in mind what women are dealing with. You might not be the reason she’s not responding. As I discussed in my last article, insincere/unkind men are a genuine man’s greatest enemy while dating online because of the environment they create.