Online Dating Blog

A few searches have come to the site questioning whether certain topics are good or not for a first date conversation. The most recent one that comes to mind is “Is profession a good topic for first dates?” In general, I think most topics are fine for first date conversations. Even topics such as politics or religion which are often labeled as “taboo” are actually quite safe on many first dates (see First Date Conversations).

That said, I think you need to think about why you would want to talk about a particular topic, such as profession. Unfortunately, it seems many people (men in particular) believe that their job is the best thing about them. I would not be surprised if a man were to work out an entire dating script that stayed central to his job, for example hinting how much he makes, how hard he worked to get where he his, how crazy he gets with friends at work, and so on. It is not that there is anything wrong with this particular topic; it just has the undesired-side affect of causing the man to appear insecure or, more commonly, only concerned with himself.

My advice: don’t exclude the possibility of any topic but at the same time don’t force any topic either. Determine a list of topics that you feel would work well and, by all means, use your date’s profile to come up with a few ideas! Don’t get too into the “job interview” mindset where you desperately need to get some things about yourself on the table because you think it will improve how you are viewed. A great date involves two people interacting dynamically. As nice as it would be to schedule out each conversation, I found it only lead to trouble. If you need a script to talk to the person sitting across from you, chances are it wasn’t meant to be.