A Profile Review

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A friend asked that I review his dating profile to see if there was anything he could improve on. In the past when reviewing dating profiles, I’ve always included my wife since I like to have a woman’s opinion. As you’ll see, we don’t always agree! What follows is a trimmed down version of his profile followed by my comments and then Kate’s.

The Profile:

Movies, museums, skiing, whitewater rafting, skating, video/board games, mini-golf. I’d like to try camping sometime. Really, I can have fun doing almost anything as long as I like the people I’m with. I’m currently reading Stranger in a Strange Land. Before that, it was The Know-It-All, The Golden Compass, and Deathly Hallows (of course). I love books, but I mostly cheat now and listen to audiobooks.I’m pretty happy with how my life is going. I’ve got an awesome group of friends (although they’re kind of geeky), I get along well with my family, I enjoy my job, I own my house and enjoy spending time on different “homeowner” projects (probably too much time). Now I’m just looking for the right person to share it all with.

I can be shy at first, but get over it quickly. I’m happiest when I’m joking around and laughing, though I’m not the kind of person that insists on being “the life of the party”. My sense of humor tends towards the absurd, dark, or sophomoric. Someone who would be interested in a marathon of The Office or Arrested Development would be great.
I like to cook and I think that I’m pretty good at it. My creme brulee is so good you’ll want to marry it and my cheesecake is so good you’ll want to have an affair with it.

I’m looking for a girl who is intelligent and who has interests and hobbies similar to mine (hopefully). Someone who has a good sense of humor, who is mostly silly, but can serious when needed. Basically, I’d just like to find someone who I can be comfortable with and who can be comfortable with me.

Brad’s Thoughts:
Drop everything in parenthesis
The first could come off as highbrow (yes, even though it’s about Harry Potter!) and the others seem to be defensive or self deprecating. While I can vouch that he has geeky friends (ahem), he needs leave that out for now. When I read each of the sentences that contain parenthesis without them, I felt he represented himself much better because he sounded more confident.

Don’t Describe Humor
Describing humor can be a lot like describing a color: no matter how good you do, chances are your description is going to confuse more than clarify. Instead of trying to define his humor, I recommended he simply state what he finds funny.

Kate’s Thoughts:
Describing Humor was Confusing
I would change how you define your sense of humor. I think it might be nice to let the other person figure that out while they get to know you. If Brad defined his sense of humor in his profile, I may have ruled him out before meeting him. While I’m still getting used to his sense of humor, I actually like most of his jokes, but I’m not sure I would have known that if I had read about his sense of humor first. I think the following sentence about watching a marathon of The Office or Arrested Development is ok, because it shows your humor more naturally.

Risky Word: Affair
The cheesecake/creme brulee bit is very funny, but might also be taken the wrong way. Maybe you could just say that your cheesecake is awesome, but that your creme brulee will leave you torn between the two.


Many people, myself included early in my online dating life, feel inclined to defend some of their life as was done (subtly) with his parenthesis. My advice: forget about defending or “explaining” the parts of your life you think others may not understand. Just stick with describing yourself. Overall, I think his profile was good. Some of our advice may have been an exercise in “over-thinking” but online dating, particularly before meeting, seems to be one of the places where it is better to over-think than under. Also, I enjoyed the cheesecake joke but I suppose Kate is right. Better to error on the side of caution.

 

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About the Author:

Brad initially struggled with online dating but over time became quite successful using it. He met his wife using online dating and has been giving advice and helping people improve their results since 2007. He has written a Free Online Dating Guide to help others find success with online dating. You can learn more about his personal experience using online dating and running this website here.